In This Economy?

Ohhh, so that's what a merkin is!

Hey ladies!

Have you ever wanted to fuck a fox? And I mean an actual fox, from like a forest or whatever, but you didn’t quite have the lady-balls to get out there and risk a brush with poison ivy to do it? Well, you’re in luck, because this chick named Cindy Barshop, who is featured on one of those soul-sucking, Real Housewives train-wrecks-of-a-reality-show, has a plan to turn your beaver area into a PETA nightmare. It’s called the Foxy Bikini, in which post-wax, a pubic wig, or merkin (which was already a thing, often used in the filming of 70′s movies)is applied to your Downtown Brown. It’s just close enough to sexing a real fox without all that messy bestiality nonsense. Besides, the fox is dead. And it’s just its fur. So, totally different.

Foxes not your type? No worries there either, bitches, because Barshop sexy up your lady area with other types of natural, animal parts. How do you feel about feathers? This rainbow-colored “vaginal headdress” is just the thing! And the best part is, only you and your bulging, furry crotch will know what lies beneath.

Go out and get you some. I suggest pairing the Foxy with some plaid. And the Carnivale-esque feather one with a stripper pole. Plus, according to TMZ, a fox buffer will set you back roughly $225. Which is a hell of a lot less expensive than having to deal with a half-human, half fox “Oops” baby.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 20th, 2012 at 4:50 PM and is filed under WTF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.