Alvin Greene has a plan to fix the economy
Posted by drocolate on July 7th, 2010
Ohhhhhhh, Alvin Greene. You truly are an American hero.
For those of you who don’t know who Alvin Greene is, he’s the dude who won the South Carolina Democratic Senate Primary a few weeks back, despite having no experience, no real knowledge of policy and no job. Depending on who you talk to he is either the true epitome of the bootstrapping American dream or a Republican plant that is being used to rig the upcoming Senate election.
His story is REALLY fascinating, and today it got even better.
When giving an interview to The Guardian he was asked about America’s current unemployment problems and what he would do to solve them. Below is his full quote:
“Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up. That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke.”
Oh. My. God. I love this guy.
Make toys of me? Me and my vehicle? Not a joke? This shit is amazing. This dude is one election away from actually having a voice in the U.S. Senate and his economic bailout plan is to start production on a line of Alvin Greene action dolls. And the last line of his quote, where he says that his Santa-esque recovery plan “makes sense”? WHAT?!?! This “plan” definitely doesn’t make sense.
But damn it is awesome.
I don’t really know what else to say. I recommend you all just reread the quote above and get your checkbooks ready to order your Alvin Greene action doll this holiday season. You can lie and say it’s for your kids but we all know it’s really for you. I want the one where he’s wearing his suit!
Seriously… this shit is insane.
Tags: action figures, Alvin Greene, economy, idiots, jobs, South Carolina, toys
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He’s Chauncey Gardner, Forrest Gump, Radio and Sarah Palin all rolled into one.
I think that is a really good plan. We’re also going to need to send some more subsidies out so that we can make more Brawndo. All of this water people are drinking isn’t creating many jobs. We can use Brawndo on our plants too. Why? Because it has electrolytes of course.
JOhn