Rent-a-Honky
Posted by SurlyZ on June 29th, 2010
Standard-issue white person
On a normal day, CNN spends its time creating false leads about missing children when they know damn well Larry King has them in his dungeon hooked up to a machine that sucks out and liquifies their life force so he can inject the extract into his sole remaining uncollapsed vein, which just happens to be in his penis.
But recently, I read a story that…
I said, but recently I read a story that…
HEY! Take your mind off Larry King’s kock and focus for a second. This could affect you if you’re white. And odds are you are white. White like American Jesus.
Don’t call it a Caucasian comeback
You all know how white people haven’t gotten a fair shake throughout history, right? So check this out: If you’re white, you can get a job in China. That job: being white.
Seems that companies in China create an illusion of prestige by having a few crackers hanging around pretending to be foreign girlfriends, foreign business partners, foreign employees, foreign investors and foreign foreigners. Having whitey on hand makes it look like a business has legitimate international connections. International peckerwood connections. And it’s mostly Chinese tricking other Chinese. You don’t even have to speak the language. In fact, it’s preferred that you don’t. You get a phony translator to do the heavy lifting.
SIDE NOTE: One of the common terms for this semi-insidious ruse is “Face Job.” I usually reserve that term for something else, but I’m willing to give it up if I can replace it with “chow mein.”
The Great Wile of China
I don’t begrudge white folk for taking any work they can get. It’s been tough out there for snowflakes. But the Chinese should be ashamed of themselves for this disgustingly dishonest, cowardly, unscrupulous—Where do I send my résumé?
Tags: China, Larry the Cable Guy, Pat Boone, shenanigans, white people
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