In This Economy?

Yeah. We don’t give these out too often, but this time, the seemingly effortlessly skanky Abercrombie & Fitch really deserves it.

IN THIS ECONOMY?!?!?!!?!?!

Here are the facts:

• The economy sucks. (We know this.)

• Abercrombie & Fitch only made $254,000 as a company last year.

• The company gave its CEO $4 million just for “cutting back” on his usually unlimited personal travel expenses.

• This same CEO, Mike Jeffries, was once named one of five “Highest Paid Worst Performers” by an organization most generically called the Corporate Library.

Pop The Champagne!!

Is it just me, or is $4 million just insane considering the company’s measly earnings for the year? Yeah it’s not just me. But I guess obscenely-overpriced, yet purposely wrinkled clothing made for anorexic teens “sold” by dickhead pretty boys and girls isn’t cutting it any more in this toilet economy. Sad story, really.

Now, if someone wants to pay me for cutting back, I’ll gladly take it. Hell, I’ve NEVER flown in my private jet, so I figure I deserve — roughly — $116,000,000.

Cool it, ladies. They're probably all 14.

So fork it over, Fitch.

Or at least make some jeans that fit a normal-sized ass, or hire some girls who’ve ever had a hamburger, or hire some guys who know how to not ignore customers over 17 years of age. It’s very loud in your stores and we old folks just want to get in and get out fast before we lose the rest of our old geezer hearing. OH and stop being so effing slutty with your constant use of shirtless, sweaty, sporty, muscular, underage male models. It’s just not good lookin’ out — for humanity. Jeez.

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Thanks to @agardina for the heads up on this story. And props to the consumerist for their badass post that was the basis for the above rant.

Tags: 254k, 4 billion, abercrombie and fitch, CEO, clothing, economy, paid, recession

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 18th, 2010 at 11:14 PM and is filed under WTF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.