Top 10 Staycation Destinations — The Rebirth!
Posted by breadwinner on March 24th, 2010
Well it’s been just over a year since our first Staycation post and I feel I can honestly say we’re just as screwed — if not more so — today.
So in honor of:
The passing of the Hellfire-care Reform Bill,
Our return from SXSW Interactive,
sxSARS,
Foursquare and Gowalla,
The Twitter, and
All our new friends and followers
may I present:
The Top 10 Staycation Destinations — the rebirth!
Oh, and just as an FYI to those who aren’t familiar with the term: A staycation is like a vacation. Except you stay home. Yeah, that’s it.
Let’s start at…oh I don’t know…the top.
#10 THE LIBRARY
Pictured: book worm-cation
Let’s get to the point. This list is pretty depressing. But this is what our lives have come to. Finding the positive. And what’s more positive than FREE? Get your ass to a library and get some knowledge. Read a book about vacations and BAM! You’re on an island somewhere with crashing waves, seagulls and a cabana boy or five. Ole!
#9 THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS
Pictured: many, many paper cuts
Because the library can be overwhelming. Actually, this suggestion comes from the monumental health-care reform bill we just watched get passed [through the anus of] the House a few days ago. Confused? Aren’t we all! Well, the Library of Congress is a bit of a misnomer in this case, because you can read the thing by clicking right here. Get thee to the Internet and read up on that shit. And BONUS: by the time you’re done, the economy will likely be on an upswing!
#8 YOUR VERY OWN COMPUTER
OMG blogging is AWESOME!
You know what job ANYONE can do? Become a BLOGGER! It’s so easy! Just a few clicks and you’re typing away, sending your super important messages of awesome high, high into the Interwebs. And you can do it from the comfort of your own home! So if when you get laid off, just remember, you can always add blogger to your resume and earn instant street cred. How is this a staycation, you ask? Blogging lets you be whoever you want to be! Be a world traveler! Be a hotel reviewer! But for goodness sake — be someone more interesting.
#7 AN INTERNET CAFE
Pictured: CHATTING ONLINE
No computer? No home? That’s cool. Just head to an Internet Cafe and pay through your nose (you’ve still got one of those, right?) for Internet access. Then start your blog! But be quick because those credit card charges sure add up! Hope you’re a fast typer…
#6 YOUR LOCAL HR OFFICE
"So what would you say it is you DO here?"
Not laid off yet? Just wait till you get down to HR for that innocent-sounding “meeting.” Before you know it, you’ll be off on vacation. Pop a few Xanax and you’ll forget all about that place you used to work.
#5 TWITTER
Have you heard of Twitter yet? No? Well, get ready for a time-suck-of-a-staycation! Just hop on the Internet at your local home, place of work (ha!) or aforementioned Internet Cafe, set up an account and let the world know everything you feel and desire in 140 character chunks. Want to have even more fun online? Start a Twitter phishing scam! Ask your friends and followers if it’s really them in this pic! Before you know it you’ll have … whatever the hell hackers aim to get by said phishing. From the sound of it, it has something to do with marijuana.
#4 YOUR FRIENDS’ HOUSES
Only hot house guests need apply.
Lost your apartment because you lost your job and can’t pay the rent? Hanging out at your friends’ places is a fun alternative to staycating in your very own home. Sure they’d like some privacy or their child’s bedroom back. But you’ve got to look out for number one, right? And where better to get your hands on free satellite TV and a fridge full of box wine!
#3 YOUR PARENTS’ HOUSE
Just pray they haven't replaced you with a more successful child.
No home to call your own? No friends’ homes to squat upon? You got parents? Heck yes you do! How fantastic and relaxing does a nice bed and breakfast sound? Now go to their little subdivision and grab yourself a spot on the sofa. The Wheel of Fortune marathon is likely about to start. Raid the liquor cabinet and it’s just like you’re back in elementary school again. Cheers!
#2 A BOX IN THE ALLEY
Smells like freedom.
No home to call your own? No friends’ homes to squat upon? No parents’ house to invite yourself back into? It’s (still) cool — there’s a perfectly fine box with your name on it just waiting to become your newest staycation destination. In this economy, you’ll probably need to seek out a box of the recycled variety; perhaps an empty tequila box from behind your local liquor store? Get creative! Draw a little palm tree on the inside for a picturesque escape from the everyday.
#1 THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE
Pictured: NOT a conga line
Now folks, this one’s a super popular staycation in this economy, but you’ll want to get in line quick because that’s where all the jobs are. But then again, now that you have this fantastic list, do you even want another job? Think about it…
Thanks for reading. If you’d like to read more from breadwinner in easily digestible 140 character chunks, feel FREE.
Tags: blog, box, computer, economy, health care, HR, internet, jobs, library, parents, recession, staycation, twitter, unemployment
love number 8!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by rondostar, Derek, rachcreative, Z, DWesterberg and others. DWesterberg said: RT @inthiseconomy: It's getting really real guys. Presenting: Top 10 Staycation Destinations — THE REBIRTH! http://bit.ly/cK0C8h #jobs [...]