Happy Election Day, Texas!
Posted by breadwinner on March 2nd, 2010Yeeeeehaaaaaaaw!
It’s Primary time, y’all! But who to vote for in the Texas Governor’s race??
Aw, Dick.
The cowboy hat lovin’, gun-slingin’, defiant, anti-government guy with hair that waves wistfully at you like a Miss Texas pageant hopeful?
Pic FAIL.
Or the lady who virtually all the local media (and even some hackers) are supposedly behind? Even though she voted “with Washington“?!! <GASP!>
Who?
Or this Joe Lieberman wannabe who’s practically guaranteeing Dick Fairy the win? (If you are, then you’re part of the problem, by the way.)
XOXO Farouk! Love, my hair
Or maybe the guy who puts his money where his mouth is in a crazy awesome kind of way? He’s the Hair King of My Heart I mean ultimate immigrant businessman candidate!
Poor Bill.
Perhaps you’ll vote for the ex-mayor/underdog/nice guy who taught Sunday school? I mean he called me on the phone just last night!!
Pic FAIL #2
Or this dude?? He’s a teacher without a picture! Just like in online dating: no pic, no poke! Read about him on his BLOG!
Hippie Rancher
Or perhaps you’d like to vote for this HORSE?!!!
Or any number of the available ranchers, teachers and preachers up for spots on the Texas secession train on its way to Hades!!!!
So, what’ll it be folks?
Why, I’m glad you asked! Here’s a neat little way to compare candidates and create a custom voting cheat sheet to take to your voting location. That’s where I got all those sweet pics up there.
But don’t worry too much about who to vote for, ’cause here at ITE we’re pretty sure that:
A) good ole Dick Fairy Perry will win, and that
B) he’ll probably end up running for Prez in 2012, and that
C) we’ll have plenty to bitch about on this site for years to come.
And there’s that point I was looking for. Happy Tuesday.
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Tags: bill white, democrat, election, farouk shami, governor, kay bailey hutchison, medina, primary, republican, rick perry, texas