Hooters for sale!
Posted by drocolate on February 15th, 2010
When will the recession stop affecting the things we all love?
First it came in an took a lot of our jobs, which sucked (and continues to suck). Then, through the greasy Ponzi grip of Bern-dog Madoff, it fucked with our Kevin Bacon, which is SOOOOO uncool. And don’t even get me started on the PT Cruiser. Was it a car? Was it a van? Was it a time machine? WE WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE THE RECESSION TOOK IT AWAY FROM US.
R.I.P. PT Cruiser… you ugly, stupid little baby gangster car.
Sigh…
So what else can this recession possibly take from us? Well my friends, unfortunately it now has it’s eyes set on our Hooters.
That’s right, folks. Due to the crippling conditions of our current economic poop-cloud not even breasts and shiny legs are recession-proof anymore. The owners of the Atlanta-based Hooters empire have reportedly hit some hard times financially and as a result are attempting to sell the whole Hooters can-glomerate (I couldn’t resist) to the highest bidder. The entire thing is believed to be worth about $250 million.
So, with that said, does anyone out there have that kind of money laying around that they might be able to throw my way? I’d hate to see the Hooters legacy go down in flames because some prudey-mcpruderson bought it. Or worse, what if someone bought it and actually improved the crappy food? That would be the worst! So, it’s up to me. No, to us, to save the Hooters we all know and love.
If you’ve got $250 million in disposable income weighing you down, please feel free to get in touch with me through the “contact us” link up there.
Together we can make a difference and tell this asshole recession to back off.
Tags: breast implants, hooters, recession
Word on the street is the P.T. Cruiser will be back!
This sounds silly but I actually had a dream that the auto shop that works on our cars closed due to the economy. I literally hit their website first thing AM to ensure it was just a nightmare. There are a lot of things we’ve taken for granite that are just disappearing. You will probably call me a liar but I’ve always liked the place for the fried pickles!
Love the tag choices, btw.
Derick you are so right. Appreciate what you’ve got right now because you never know if it’ll be there tomorrow. Whether it’s a mechanic, a gym, a job or your favorite breast-aurant, hold it close.
But not, like, weirdly close. That’ll just get you arrested.
I never take anything for granite. It’s basically worthless.
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