Gilbert Arenas is an idiot
Posted by drocolate on January 10th, 2010
This Gilbert Arenas thing is making me crazy.
For those of you who are not familiar with this jackass’ jackassery, let me quickly review what has come to pass to this point.
About a week and a half ago…
…reports started to come out that two players for the Washington Wizards basketball team got into an argument in the Wizards locker room. The two players were a dude named Javaris Crittendon (kind of a nobody in the grand scheme of NBA players) and Gilbert Arenas (a definite somebody… dude has a $100+ million dollar deal).
Now, if these two players had just gotten into a little verbal spat or even thrown a punch this wouldn’t be a story, but, unfortunately, the report claimed that the dispute (which allegedly started over some gambling debts… yeah) resulted in both of the players taking out and aiming guns at one another.
Uh oh.
A few days later…
…Mr. Arenas came out and set the record straight about the whole thing. According to him he was merely playing a joke on some fellow players by leaving the guns (yes, plural) sitting out. The guns, according to Mr. Arenas were never loaded and there was no dispute behind their presence in the locker room.
Now, I wasn’t there but I can only imagine that the joke that led up to the punchline of seeing a few handguns sitting on a chair must have been hilarious! Here’s a few examples of what Mr. Arenas may have said before gesturing over to the small armory he had positioned as the KICKline (because punchline just doesn’t do this justice) of his super-mega-hilarious-joke-splosion:
- “Hey teammates! What has no legs and is faster than all of you combined? BULLETS!!! (and reveal)”
- “Hey fellow Wizard players! Last night I shot, like, 12 homeless people in the face and hands. WITH THOSE GUNS!!! (and reveal)”
- “Hey friends! You guys like magic? WELL CHECK OUT THESE GUNS THAT I MAGICALLY BROUGHT INTO THE LOCKER ROOM DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT’S CLEARLY AN IDIOTIC THING TO DO! (and reveal)”
- “Hey assholes! If we don’t win tonight I’m going to introduce you to some friends of mine. (and reveal)”
Funny, right? No? Well you’ll probably “get” it later on today and just laugh and laugh and laugh.
So from there…
…the NBA shat several bricks. The commissioner came out and suspended Arenas indefinitely without pay. And remember, this dude makes A LOT of money so that’s a harsh punishment. You see the commissioner wasn’t at all happy about the incident and the way that Mr. Arenas and other Wizard players had just shrugged it all off.
Oh wait. I missed one juicy detail.
In the time between…
…Mr. Arenas giving his take on the story (the funny joke thing) and the NBA dick slapping him, he made one more really stupid move.
Before a game, during introductions, he did this:
Oh boy. So now in addition to just being an idiot with a small cache of guns in his locker, he’s also a total fucking asshole who has no regard for the gravity of the situation he’s in.
So now back to the punishment stuff.
Just saying that Mr. Arenas makes A LOT of money doesn’t really say enough, so I’ll get a little more specific. Mr. Arenas makes $16.2 million a season, which equates to almost $200,000 a game ($197,500 to be exact) and now, thanks to his complete and total lack of a brain he’s making zero dollars a game.
I guess it is kind of fitting though since his nickname is “Agent Zero” and the Wizards used to be called the Bullets.
And now we’re up to the present.
The last major thing to come out about this was a report that filled in a few more blanks and made the claim that after Mr. Arenas took out his gun (or guns… who knows), Mr. Crittendon took out his gun and then chambered a round… which is pretty hardcore. Of course Mr. Crittendon replied to this report by saying that it was false. Although he sent his reply in the form of a text message, which is pretty weak.
So basically at this point no one really knows what happened in the locker room.
The only things we do know are that Mr. Arenas is an idiot, the Wizards are in the midst of a PR nightmare and that Plaxico Burress got royally fucked after his gun ordeal several months ago.
And speaking of Plaxico…
…he made his first attempt to be let out of prison last week and was denied. I’ve outlined my feelings about the Plaxico case before on this blog, and this bullshit with Gilbert Arenas only adds fuel to that fire. They either need to let Plaxico out or throw Mr. Arenas in, because both of these men are essentially guilty of the same stupid shit. Except that the one who is actually in prison shot himself (ouch) and the one who still walks free did not. That’s just not right.
It all just makes my head spin. I really don’t know what to say, well other than FREE PLAXICO!
Tags: basketball, Gilbert Arenas, Plaxico Burress, sports
Right on the money, Plaxico should not go to jail for being a dummy, Funny thing is here in NY even the law they used to convict Plax is up to interpertation. About 6 months ago a store owner in Harlem shot 4 kids and killed 2 trying to rob his store. His Shotgun was unregistered, the DA does not even bring the case up. Plax shoots himself in the leg accidentally and gets two years because his gun was unregistered. So if Plax had shot and killed someone trying to rob him the police and the DA would not have gone after him. What kind of stupid law is this. Free Plaxico!!!