ITE Holiday Gift Guide — Day 16
Posted by drocolate on December 16th, 2009
Merry Holidays, everyone!
It’s that time again. Time for all of us to go out there and spend our hard-earned money on unnecessary material goods for our friends and family. The holidays are here! Yes!
But, because 2009 has been extremely hard on the wallet, you can’t just throw your money around on a whim. You need to be sure that you’re getting a great gift, and this is where ITE comes in.
Each day, until Christmas day, we will be giving you guys some gift-giving advice. We’re going to break every day into three categories: The Good, The Bad and The Completely Bizarre. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory from there.
You dog wants a gift. Your dog is greedy. Today is all about what to give your dog this holiday season.
DAY 16 — Gifts for Dogs
The Good
Food
Dogs love food. It’s really all they want. Truly.
I was going to find some cool dog toy or some other dog item that I thought was neat but then I reminded myself that the theme for today is “gifts FOR dogs”, not “gifts that dog owners can give to their dog and then talk about a lot at the dog park”.
So we’re back to food.
Get your dog some food this holiday season and see just how happy they get.
Oh, one note though, feeding your dog an actual steak may not be wise.
Next.
The Bad
Pet’s Eye View Camera
Did someone say “gifts that dog owners can give to their dog and then talk about a lot at the dog park”? Yeah, this is one.
“Hey, check out my dog over there… yeah… you see it? Yeah, he’s got a camera on his collar. Now I can see everything he sees! How fucking amazing is that?!?!?”
In reality, however, the footage you’re going to capture with this camera will consist almost exclusively of food (see above), a dog bed or other sleeping spot, your face and your dog’s ass. But I guess it really would be awesome to see exactly what you’re dog is trying to get to back there.
Yikes.
The Completely Bizarre
Dog Wigs
That dog is so high on coke right now. Let me explain.
These wigs are a gateway drug. It starts with a wig and a few HILARIOUS pictures. Then the pics land on the Internet via a Facebook feed or Twitter. Next thing you know an obscure porn auteur in Russia has picked the images up off of Google images and is using them as a backdrop in a new film. The natural next step after that is for a rival porn director (this one is based in Australia… just because) kidnaps the wigged dog and starts having it sit on the foot of the bed while pornish things are happening behind it. The only way the dog can cope with all of this is to retreat into a drug habit. It starts with cigarettes and booze. Then a little marijuana. Then cocaine. Shitloads of it. Rail and rail after rail of Tony Montana’s finest. And then from there, the dog’s soul is lost.
But hey… those pictures will be HILARIOUS!
Available at trixieandpeanut.com for $35.00.
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We’ll be back with some human gift advice tomorrow.
Oh, and here’s the rest of the guide:
- Day 15 — Gadgets
- Day 14 — Baby Toys
- Day 13 — Etsy Gifts
- Day 12 — Snuggie & Snuggie-related Items
- Day 11 — Billy Mays Gifts
- Day 10 — TV Shows on DVD
- Day 9 — Ed Hardy Gifts
- Day 8 — Gift Cards
- Day 7 — Video Games
- Day 6 — Cars
- Day 5 — Mustache Gifts
- Day 4 — Sarah Palin Gifts
- Day 3 — Movies on DVD
- Day 2 — Hats
- Day 1 — Music
Tags: dogs, gift, gift guide, Holiday Gift Gude, holidays
[...] Day 16 — Gifts for Dogs [...]