ITE Holiday Gift Guide — Day 9
Posted by drocolate on December 9th, 2009
Merry Holidays, everyone!
It’s that time again. Time for all of us to go out there and spend our hard-earned money on unnecessary material goods for our friends and family. The holidays are here! Yes!
But, because 2009 has been extremely hard on the wallet, you can’t just throw your money around on a whim. You need to be sure that you’re getting a great gift, and this is where ITE comes in.
Each day, until Christmas day, we will be giving you guys some gift-giving advice. We’re going to break every day into three categories: The Good, The Bad and The Completely Bizarre. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory from there.
Today we are going to talk about what every douchebag in your life is looking for — Ed Hardy Gifts
DAY 9 — Ed Hardy Gifts
The Good
The Tattoo Collage 4GB Peripheral Set Pink
Do you know what sucks? Your mouse pad.
Do you know why your mouse pad sucks? Because it’s not Ed Hardy’d out.
Let me clear something up real quick here: I hate Ed Hardy. I think everything the man touches turns to glittery trash.
But even I can see the appeal of this exquisite little office set. Just think about it. How many times have you been sitting in your office and you’ve thought to yourself, “I REALLY wish I had some Ed Hardy shit in here so all of my colleagues could see how fucking awesome I am.”
From your lips to Mr. Hardy’s ears because here’s the only fluorescent pink mouse pad and mouse you’ll ever need. Plus it’s got that really awesome tiger on there so everyone will know right off the bat that you’re a fashionable person who knows a lot about culture and fashion and culture and fashion and culture ans fashion and cul t ur e a nd fa s h i o n.
Wow. I’m sorry. Sometimes my typing just turns to italics when I’m overly sarcastic. And other times, when I’m lying my ass off, my fingers just lock up.
Here check it out:
I love Ed Hardy. I love Ed Hardy. I l o vvvvvv e E d Haaard
SHIT! It’s so hard!
I’ll end it with this: If you’ve got a douchebag in your family that’s going off to college or starting a new job give them this awesome gift set. They’ll love you fo r do in g it.
The Bad
Pretty much everything Ed Hardy makes
I tried to find a picture of everything in Ed Hardy’s catalog but he just makes to much shit to be photographed simultaneously. So instead, I’m using that candle pic up there as a placeholder.
Looking at that candle makes me wonder though… what would a skull with a human heart and some vines growing out of it smell like? My guess is that it smells like Red Bull, steroids, hair gel and Axe body spray. Mmmmmmm…
Ed Hardy is pure shit.
The Completely Bizarre
Ed Hardy Wine
This is perfect for all of those times you’ve been sitting at home wondering what a glowing pink tiger covered in glitter and spray paint would taste like if it were a wine.
Seriously though, you know your clothing brand has crossed a bridge when you can drink it. This is the perfect gift for that douchebag completist on your list. You know, the one who has to have every color of the new Ed Hardy “snow leopard fucks a bucket of paint while shitting out a rainbow” cap because they have to complete the collection. Yeah. That guy.
Ok. That’s enough. I’m dizzy and nauseous. Thanks, Ed Hardy.
–
Special thanks to Colin over at fiveoclockdallas.com for today’s gift guide idea. He LOVES Ed Hardy.
Check back tomorrow for some less douchey (and more informative) gift advice.
Oh, and here’s the rest of the guide:
- Day 8 — Gift Cards
- Day 7 — Video Games
- Day 6 — Cars
- Day 5 — Mustache Gifts
- Day 4 — Sarah Palin Gifts
- Day 3 — Movies on DVD
- Day 2 — Hats
- Day 1 — Music
Tags: douchebag, Ed Hardy, gift, gift guide, Holiday Gift Gude, holidays
[...] Day 9 — Ed Hardy Gifts [...]