ITE Holiday Gift Guide — Day 6
Posted by drocolate on December 6th, 2009
Merry Holidays, everyone!
It’s that time again. Time for all of us to go out there and spend our hard-earned money on unnecessary material goods for our friends and family. The holidays are here! Yes!
But, because 2009 has been extremely hard on the wallet, you can’t just throw your money around on a whim. You need to be sure that you’re getting a great gift, and this is where ITE comes in.
Each day, until Christmas day, we will be giving you guys some gift-giving advice. We’re going to break every day into three categories: The Good, The Bad and The Completely Bizarre. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory from there.
Now let’s rev it up with some holiday car talk.
DAY 6 — Cars
The Good
The Nano from Tata Motors
The Nano is an Indian-built economy car that leads the auto world in two ways — smallest price and smallest size. For a starting price of just $2,200 you can drive off the lot in this tiny little box (it’s 10 ft. by 5 ft.). Of course if you want awesome extra bonus features like power brakes you’ll have to pay slightly more… but who needs power brakes?
Wat does it have if it doesn’t have power brakes? Manual brakes? A Fred Flintstone hole?
Yeah, I don’t know that much about cars.
So, in summation, because this year has been so shitty on the bank account your lovely spouse/child/parent/creepy uncle/mentor/mistress that is expecting a car this holiday season may just have to settle for a Nano.
I think there was an iPod reference in there somewhere and I totally missed it. Shit. Let’s just move on.
The Bad
The Nano from Tata Motors
I’ve had a change of heart.
The Nano is a piece of shit and I don’t want to lead you guys down the wrong path.
Even the most advanced models, like the ones with those power brakes I mentioned, don’t have airbags or anti-lock brakes. And honestly, if I’m driving the tiniest car in the history of history I’m going to at least want an airbag there for me should the tin can I’m driving get crushed.
I guess airbags are expensive.
Plus, the Nano is a stupid name.
And once again I have dropped the ball on an iPod reference. Shit.
The Completely Bizarre
The Nano from Tata Motors
Is this really a surprise?
We are talking about a car that is practically the size of a child’s Power Wheels. And it’s cheap. And it’s from India. And it has power brakes that are powerful but not anti-lockable. And it’s made by a company called Tata motors. And it has a really futuristic name even though it’s about as un-futuristic a car as there is out there. And I’m sure it would look absurd with truck nuts attached to it (which for me is a total deal breaker).
This thing is bizarre.
In conclusion, just buy your greedy relatives a Honda and leave the holiday car-buying shuffle* behind.
*Worst iPod reference ever. Officially.
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VROOOOOOM!!! YEAH! See you tomorrow!
Oh, and here’s the rest of the guide:
Tags: cars, Detroit's armageddon, gift, gift guide, Holiday Gift Gude, holidays, truck nuts
[...] Day 6 — Cars [...]
well done sir. well done. Now let’s load up this Nano and head over to the Drive-in for tonight’s showing of FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY.
It’s not that Truck Nuts wouldn’t work on the car, it’s mainly that the car is so low that they’d drag on the pavement. Let’s face it: Road Rash is never fun.
[...] Day 6 — Cars [...]