In This Economy?

According to Wikipedia, which is always right, Eggo had a 73% share of the frozen waffle market in June of 2009. That means that 3 out of the 4 Rolling Stones prefer to gum pre-chewed Eggo Waffles for breakfast every morning as opposed to any other sort of frozen brand. Kellogg has already made some moves to stem the chaos. The remaining waffles are being rationed to stores “based on historical percentage of business.” So if you live near a Waffle House, consider yourself hosed, this being one of dozens of reasons that living near a Waffle House is a bummer.

Other moves Kellogg has made include changing the classic catchphrase from “Leggo My Eggo” to “Get Your Fucking Hands Off That Frozen Waffle!” It’s proving to be very popular as I’ve heard it shouted several times this week at my local Wal-Mart.

This lady friggin' loves Eggos

And what does this mean for you, the average American? It may be time to look at some breakfast alternatives. If you still need your pan-cooked dough and syrup fix, I would suggest the waffle’s lazy cousin, the pancake. You may not have as much fun trying to fill all the little holes with syrup, but you can fill the pancake itself with extra items, such as bananas, chocolate chips or bacon!

For those of us willing to slowly kill ourselves with the marvels of fast food (yay for sandwich-shaped eggs!), McDonald’s may have the perfect answer for you. Just don’t Rap Your Order or you could face charges. Or, if you’re one of the 10% of unemployed Americans, may I suggest sleeping through breakfast? I think waking up to a morning without a job AND Eggos would just be too much to bear.

Luckily, according to reports, the shortage is only supposed to last until 2010. And after consulting the Internet, it’s true, we will have Eggo’s again…IN THE FUTURE!

It's delicious, Jim!