In This Economy?

Before I jump into this article about Nic Cage and his money problems, I’d like you all to watch this classic clip:

So powerful.

Ok, where was I? Ah yes! Earlier this month Nicolas Cage filed a $20 million dollar lawsuit against his former business manager for “mismanagement”. Apparently Nic’s former biz manager, a dude named Samuel J. Levin, should have invested the Ghost Rider’s money better. Or something.

The only problem is that it’s hard to take a mismanagement suit seriously from a guy who has purchased as much insane shit as Nic Cage has. What kind of insane shit? Yeah, this calls for a list.

INSANE SHIT THAT NIC CAGE HAS PURCHASED:

• A pet octopus
• A $500,000 Lamborghini once owned by the Shah of Iran
• 2 mansions in New Orleans (one of which is supposedly haunted)
• A mansion in Bel Air
• A castle (yes… that says castle) in Bath, England
• Homes in Newport Beach, Venice Beach, Malibu, San Francisco, Rhode Island, New York and Las Vegas
• Around 50 cars, give or take a dozen
• Around 20 motorcycles
• A hangar at the Santa Monica airport to store all the cars and bikes in (duh)
• An 11th-century estate in Etzelwang, Germany
• A yacht
• Another yacht (yes, he at one point in time owned 2 yachts)
• Millions of dollars worth of comic books including Action Comics #1 (which contained the first appearance of that Superman guy) and Detective Comics 38 (which marked the first time Batman’s worthless sidekick Robin appeared)
• A Gulfstream jet (because a hangar without a jet is just idiotic)
• There are conflicting reports that he may have purchased some actual shrunken heads at one point, though the sources could not confirm if they were animal heads or human heads (yikes)
• 2 private islands in the Bahamas (Yes, you read that right, Nic Cage at one time owned a pair of islands… because one just wasn’t quite big enough to bury every copy of 8MM ever made)
• A $65,000 engagement ring that was later thrown off the side of one of his yachts during an argument
• A full team of divers to try and find said engagement ring (they did not)
• A fully customized Bentley with a TV, stereo, bar and custom cabinetry in the back (One note on this one: After all the customizations were made, Mr. Cage could no longer fit in the back of the car, so it was sold)

And my favorite:

• A $276,000 dinosaur skull that he and Leonardo DiCaprio got into a bidding war over

So now, after reading that, think about the day-to-day life of Samuel J. Levin. He’s sitting in his office when he gets a call from Nic Cage:

“Hey Sammy, I just dropped $400k on a piece of grass that Jesus supposedly stepped on. I just wanted to let you know. PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN BOX!! Hehehehehe, ok, bye!”

All Samuel can do is sigh, open up his excel spreadsheet labeled “Cage: Insane Purchases” and mark it down.

And now that poor bastard is getting sued. By this guy:

Yikes.

Tags: completely insane, idiots, mansion, Nicolas Cage, recession

This entry was posted on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 2:39 PM and is filed under WTF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.