In This Economy?

Here at ITE we’ve been writing about things that we feel are a WASTE OF MONEY for months now, so it only made sense to take a look at the other end of the spectrum in this new feature — WORTH THE MONEY.

Here’s today’s worthwhile item:

Blow Energy Drink Mix

Are you tired of being tired? Are you sick of living a totally un-extreme life? Well you’re in luck, because now you can completely turn your shitty, boring life around in seconds with Blow Energy Drink Mix.

FUCK YEAH! LET’S DO SOME BLOW! RIGHT NOW!

(NOTE: I wrote this next section while I was totally out of my mind on Blow.)

HOLYFUCKINGSHITGUYS!!!!!!!!!!! Lets talk abou8t Blow!

Blow looks like cocaine, which is fucking awesome because cocaine is what all the dudes in those mpvies do and they’re all really awesome., Like Tony Montana. Pacino did so much fucking coke in that movie and he was a total bad ass. For real. Like that one part where he looked up at the sky and that dude got thrown out of that helicopter and he wa sall hanged and shit from the helicopter. Fu7ck me that was intense. Really good axcting too.

Wait, wjhat was I talking about?

FUCKING BLOW! THATS IRGHT!

SO THIS SHIT IS SUUPPosed to look like cocaine but it’s realy just an energy drink powder. You mix some of it into a bottle of water and you drink it. Or I guess you could just fucking eat it like sugar but I think that could like stop your heart or some stupid shit. So anyways, You mix it and t5hen it supposedl;y has the same energy powers as two Red Bulls and three cups of coffee. That’s fiuve drinks! No one wants to drink five drinks! Do I want to be all fucking fat with liquid in my stomach. Hell n! I want to eat some fucking powder or drink a single drink or something and still feel like I’m wallking on air.

Soooooooo Uhhhhhhh. d

Yeah, so Blow is a really good product becayuse it makes you work hard and fasty. Like this article? I’m writing it faster than anbything before it. Like all that type up there? I wrote it in like 90 seconds. No joke. Seriously. So this shit is worth the money.

Oh! But of course a bunch of fucking olds have a problem with it beause they dont want thweire little kids talking about doing blow with their frineds after school. There’s a video of all the little olds talkng about it. Check it out HERE!@ Do it. It’s funny.

But who really cares what those people think because this Blow shit comes in a vial and even comes with a mirror in the package so you can cut it into lines like it’s real cocaine. WHOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THIAT??? IT COMES WITH A MMIRROR SO YOU CAN BE ALL LIKE HEY! I”M JOHNNY FUCKING DEPP IN THAT MOVIE CALLE VBLOW AND i”M ON A SHIT LOAD OF DRUGS AND SHIT. Fuck me my fingers feel heavy as shit.

(NOTE: This is where I blacked out.)

In summation, Blow Energy Drink Mix is totally worth the money because anything that aspires to be exactly like cocaine must be awesome. Right? Plus it comes with a mirror and I always drink drinks based on what props come with them, so yeah. Worth the money.

–

Previously on WORTH THE MONEY:

• HEALTH’s New Album
• (500) Days of Summer

Tags: cocaine, energy drinks, worth the money

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 7th, 2009 at 9:46 PM and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.