In This Economy?

Yesterday, one @Thatchandler pointed us toward the inspiration for this post. It’s a collection of cocktail recipes for the recession. Great idea, right? Well, while I’m certainly a fan of the idea of drinking your cares away in general, I thought the list could use some improvement.

Reading through the recipes on this site got me thinking. Why would a supposedly recession-friendly recipe for cocktails include high-end ingredients like Moet & Chandon? A “splash” no less? How many splashes are in a bottle? Do you even have that many friends? Must you waste the rest once you splash a cocktail or two? And beyond that, we can’t all go out to our wine cellars and herb gardens in the Hamptons and painstakingly gather all the ingredients we need to create the perfect cocktail at any moment. There just isn’t the time or proper inclination.

So while I’m sure many of these drinks — especially when consumed in excess — would get you relaxed and help distract you from the money troubles that ail you, I’m not so sure our readers would appreciate such expensive (and extensive) ingredients in this economy. With that in mind, I’ve developed a list of my own recession-friendly cocktails made from few and found ingredients. Try them all!

So without further ado, get out your plastic cups and take a quick trip to Walmart to get ready for breadwinner’s

Top 5 Recession-friendly Found-ingredient Cocktails:

5) The Failing Irish Cream

Even in a failing economy, this cocktail’s a winner.

You will need: cheap vodka, free office coffee creamers in the Irish Cream variety, ice

Many offices provide some sort of coffee creamer for their generic swill we working types are forced to drink to stay awake. The most luxurious of which I believe is the Irish Cream. Sure, times are tight, but hopefully your office hasn’t yet cut out this vital perk. If indeed they have not, I suggest you grab a few fistfuls to stock up for later.

Directions: Combine 1/4 c cheap vodka with 5 tiny Irish Cream creamer cups and shake with ice (or use a blender if you’ve got one). Serve cold and drink fast.

4) Mojito on the Cheapo

This drink will inspire the little Latin person inside of you. You know he’s in there. And he likes to mambo.

You will need: cheap rum, from-concentrate limeade, 2 sticks peppermint or spearmint gum, scrounged up sugar packets and ice

Directions: Grab a small, blunt object that can be used as a muddler: wooden spoon, potato masher, baby rattle, whatever. Roughly chop minty-fresh gum and then mash along with sugar to taste at the bottom of a glass with your chosen “muddler” item. Add a mixture of 2 parts rum to 1 part limeade a little at a time while mashing to release the fragrances of the gum. Pour over ice.

Suggestions for scrounging up sugar packets include offices, Starbucks, c-stores, airplanes and select fast food chains. Just don’t tell them I sent you. They know my face…

3) The Ghetto Gimlet

This recipe takes a bit more time, so be sure to try to plan your binge a day ahead.

You will need: cheap vodka, lemon-lime flavored off-brand soda, ice tray, grape “drink”

If you don’t know what grape “drink” is, you either haven’t grown up in a household strapped for cash, or have never heard of Chris Rock. Either way, head to your local grocery store (or Church day care center) in your local not-so-great neighborhood and look for the gallon-sized purple monstrosity. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by its sweet taste, low price and purplish flavor. In a pinch, acceptable substitutes include: grape Kool-aid, Tang, grape Fanta, grape NyQuil or Welch’s Grape Soda if you’re fancy like that.

Directions: Pour the grape “drink” into an ice tray and freeze overnight. These will make the ice cubes you need to make your Ghetto Gimlet effing cool. Once frozen, stir gently to combine 2 parts vodka to 1 part lemon-lime soda. Then drop 3 or 4 grape cubes into your Ghetto Gimlet and serve in a free plastic goblet you got at Mardi Gras. Cheers y’all!

2) The Beer Shanty

This recipe was half-inspired my by mother-in-law. She knows how to party.

You will need: 1 cold can cheap or free beer, 1 cold can lemon-lime or ginger ale flavored off-brand soda

Yes I know the cocktail inspiration for this one is called a Shandy, but shanty seemed more appropriate for these troubled times. I’ve personally crafted this baby a few times at work, and found that it can be made entirely of free and/or cheap things your place of employ gives you to keep you somewhat happy and working hard.

Directions: Mix one part beer with one part soda and stir to combine. Another great thing about this cocktail is that one can of each yields about three servings, perfect for when you’ve moved back in with your parents after no longer being able to afford rent.

Fun fact: The shandy was formerly known in Britain as shandygaff.  In German, this type of drink is called a Radler; in French a panaché. Voila! Feel free to use this fact to impress your mom.

1) The Blue Collar

Caution: This cocktail creation is dangerous. If you are too depressed, deranged, or already drunk, do not attempt.

You will need: 2 1/2 oz whiskey or Brandy, 2 1/2 oz boiling water, 1 tsp found sugar packets, matches

I saved this baby for last because it has the most flair — and flare! Inspired by a cocktail called a Blue Blazer, this more common-man named Blue Collar assumes you can find some whiskey or Brandy so you can get down to business.

Directions: Using 2 mugs, preferably made of metal, pour the boiling water in one and the whiskey/Brandy in the other. Carefully, but very much like a man, ignite the whiskey/Brandy and pour it artfully into the mug containing the boiling water. Continue to pour the liquids back and forth until they are well incorporated. This should look fucking brilliant to your dog, who will most likely be watching you in astonishment as you play with fire. Once you’re done, sweeten with the sugar to taste and enjoy. Pairs well with bitter tears.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this list and thanks again @Thatchandler for the tweet. I welcome your suggestions of other similarly-priced booze creations; leave them in the comments section.

L’chaim!

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Tags: cheap, cocktails, drinks, drunk, economy, ingredients, irish cream, kool-aid, recession-friendly, tang, top 5, Walmart

This entry was posted on Friday, September 4th, 2009 at 2:43 PM and is filed under Deals & Free Stuff, Good News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.