In This Economy?

Here at ITE we’ve been writing about things that we feel are a WASTE OF MONEY for months now, so it only made sense to take a look at the other end of the spectrum in this new feature — WORTH THE MONEY.

Here’s today’s worthwhile item:

HEALTH’s New Album

Let’s start with a little Q&A.

Q: What is HEALTH?

A: HEALTH is a band from California. Have a listen:

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Q: Why should I give a shit about their new album?

A: You should take notice because, in addition to HEALTH being awesome, they’re also doing one of the most bonkers giveaway promotions that I’ve ever seen.

Q: Tell me more about this giveaway!

A: OK!

–

HEALTH have decided to drop their new album (out September 8th) with a bang. They’re setting up an insane Willy Wonka-esque golden ticket promotion that will have them giving away everything from free merch to, well, A LOT of other random shit. In total there are 66 tickets of differing colors (which is fun since the album is titled Get Color) which will be randomly dropped into 66 albums. Here’s a rundown of the prizes:

GOLD
1ST PRIZE
LOS ANGELES ADVENTURE
ROUND TRIP AIRFARE. THREE DAYS AND TWO NIGHTS OF NON STOP ENTERTAINMENT. YOU ARE STAYING WITH US. WE WILL TAKE YOU TO MAGIC MOUNTAIN. WE WILL TAKE YOU THE ZOO. WE WILL BRING YOU BREAKFAST IN BED. WE WILL LOVE EACH OTHER. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE BEEN REMANDED TO EITHER A PENITENTIARY OR A MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY FOR A CUSTODIAL SENTENCE UP TO OR EXCEEDING 30 DAYS, PLEASE PROVIDE US WITH FULL DISCLOSURE. THIS IS FOR OUR SAFETY AND YOURS.

MULTI COLOR
2A – 2B
CARE PACKAGES
THESE WILL BE COMPRISED OF PERSONAL ITEMS FROM EACH MEMBER. SURPRISE CONTENTS MAY RUN THE GAMUT FROM A REJUVENATING FACIAL MASK TO A FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH OF B.J’S MOTHER.

TURQUOISE
3A – 3C
POSTER/TEST PRESSING
HAND SILK SCREENED POSTER OR LP TEST PRESSING AUTOGRAPHED IN OUR BLOOD.

VIOLET
4A – 4D
INTOXICATED VIDEO CHAT + ARTS AND CRAFTS TIME.
WE WILL GET STEADILY INEBRIATED WITH YOU OVER I-CHAT WHILE WORKING ON A PROJECT TOGETHER. WE COULD MAKE A BIRD FEEDER OUT OF A MILK CARTON. WHEN WE ARE DONE WE CAN SEND EACH OTHER THE FINISHED PRODUCT

NOTE: THE UNITED STATES POST OFFICE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SEND BODILY FLUIDS VIA STANDARD MAIL.

ORANGE
5A – 5E
AUTOGRAPHED VINYL
WE WILL SELECT A FAVORITE ALBUM FROM OUR COLLECTIONS, SIGN IT AND SEND IT TO YOU.

NOTE: AUTOGRAPHS WILL BE SIGNED IN INK, AS THE BLOOD FEATURE APPLIES ONLY TO 3A – 3C

RED
6A – 6F
AUTOGRAPHED BOOK
WE WILL SELECT A BOOK FROM OUR PERSONAL LIBRARIES AND INCLUDE A SIGNED INSCRIPTION. FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS ANY GENRE PREFERENCES BUT BARE IN MIND THAT COOKBOOKS AND INSTRUCTIONAL/SELF HELP GUIDES ARE OF LOW AVAILABILITY.

GREEN
7A – 7G
GUEST LIST FOR TWO
WE WILL PROVIDE YOU AND A FRIEND WITH FREE TICKETS TO A HEALTH SHOW NEAREST YOU. ADDITIONALLY, WE CAN SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER BACKSTAGE. BEER AND SNACKS WILL BE COMPLIMENTARY.

NOTE: RESTRICTED TO CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES

BLACK
8A – 8H
1 HEALTH T-SHIRT
IF YOU PREFER, YOUR FAVORITE MEMBER OF THE BAND WILL WEAR THE SHIRT FOR AN ENTIRE DAY BEFORE IT IS SHIPPED TO YOUR DOORSTEP.

BLUE
9A – 9I
AUTOGRAPHED 7″/ AND A LOCK OF A BAND MEMBER’S HAIR.
REALISTICALLY, THE LATTER ITEM WILL COME FROM EITHER JOHN OR B.J., DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE THE MOST LOCK WORTHY HAIR.

MAGENTA
10A – 10J
MISCELLANEOUS

10A A HISTORICAL THEMED PHONE CALL FROM THE BAND.

10B A RECORDING OF BJ COVERING A 90′S SONG OF YOUR CHOOSING.

10C A RECORDING OF A SHORT STORY READ BY A BAND MEMBER.

10D WE WE’LL PERSONALIZE YOUR VOICEMAIL GREETING.

10E A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FROM THE BAND.

10F AN ASTROLOGICAL CONSULTATION WITH JUPITER’S MOTHER.

10G A COPY OF JOHN FAMIGLIETTI’S STUDENT FILM.

10H AN UPLIFTING PHONE CALL FROM HEALTH’S MANAGER.

10I A PERSONALITY TEST HAND COMPLETED BY A BAND MEMBER

10J A BAG OF JUPITER’S CAT’S HAIR PLUS A PHOTO OF HER.

FUCHSIA
11A – 11K
ADDITIONAL MISCELLANEOUS

11A B.J’S LITTLE LEAGUE JACKET

11B A PAPER NINJA STAR CONTAINING A GRAM OF 40X SALVIA

11C A CHILDHOOD TOY

11D KNITTED SCARF MADE BY JAKE’S MOTHER

11E BAND MEMBER FINGERPRINTS

11F MIXED TAPE/CD HAND DECORATED BY THE BAND

11G HEALTH’S HIGH SCHOOL BAND’S CD MIXTAPE

11H JUPITER YOUTH PACKAGE (PHOTO’S, HOMEWORK, TEARS)

11I A PAINTING BY JOHN’S MOTHER.

11J LEARN A MAGIC TRICK FROM OUR MANAGER VIA VIDEO CHAT

11L WE CONFERENCE CRANK CALL A PROMINENT INDIE MUSICIAN TOGETHER

Like I said, A LOT of random shit. I can honestly say that no other band in history has given away prizes like “LEARN A MAGIC TRICK FROM OUR MANAGER VIA VIDEO CHAT” or “A BAG OF JUPITER’S CAT’S HAIR PLUS A PHOTO OF HER”. And honestly, I’d be scared to win that golden ticket prize. I really doubt the band’s house is anything like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. I bet it’s smaller, dirtier and less chocolatey. But I’d gladly take every other prize on there with a smile.

All in all, this is an awesome way to promote an album and make fun of the overblown idea of promoting an album at the same time.

Well played, HEALTH. Well played.

Go HERE to preorder the album. And good luck!

–

Previously on WORTH THE MONEY:

• (500) Days of Summer

Tags: completely insane, health, music, worth the money

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 at 2:02 PM and is filed under Good News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.