In This Economy?

The saga of Rick Perry continues: rejection, secession, contradiction.

Dear Rick Perry,

Oh, so NOW you want the money??!
Ugh.

Sincerely,

The Feds

Beg Your Pardon, Pardner?

You heard me right. The Blagojevich-hair-envying, Ted Nugent elbow-rubbing Dick Fairy is at it again. He now wants a loan for $170 million to pay for the exact same benefits he rejected federal bailout money for just a short few months ago. So before, when the money was offered to him, Dick was just too damn cool (or rich, or popular or self-righteous?) to accept it. But now, when the money appears to be running out (duh), he’s suddenly “following protocol” and asking for a loan. So maybe the reason is that he only wants to take what he needs? He rejected $555 million, and is only asking for $170. Nope. According to the Texas Workforce Commission’s Ann Hachitt, “We are expecting to need to borrow about $650 million from the federal government through October 1st, to pay for unemployment benefits.” So this first $170 is just the tip of the ice cold iceburg. The most outrageous part may be that the federal stimulus money wouldn’t have had to be repaid, while this “loan” will. Interesting, considering the Fairy’s original excuse that the stimulus would have cost taxpayers more in the long run, by making too many Texans able to be eligible for unemployment benefits.

That's right. I said it.

All Hat, No Cattle.

While reading some of the hundreds of comments on these sites from angry Americans, I came across this funny little phrase. Now, I wasn’t sure what that meant, so I looked it up. According to the Urban Dictionary (the source for all language that is urban in nature), “all hat, no cattle” refers to “a person that is all talk and no substance; full of big talk but lacking action; a person who cannot back up his/her words; a fake; a pretender.” Kind of like a governor who has no idea what he’s doing, acts like he does, goes back on his decisions, and all-in-all should not be trusted. Yep. That’s about right.

That said, here are a few more of my favorite comments on that story, from around the Web:
RantingTommy: “Maybe his salary should only be paid in Confederate Dollars”

tokin librul: “Rick is all hair-spray, no coiffure…”

jimbeaux1961: “We just can’t afford to be handing out Federal dollars to foreign governments; sorry Generalissimo.”

Lilly-G: “No one will miss Texas whatsoever.”

AirViceMarshalPark: “Secession makes you a bad credit risk, Perry. Your card has been declined.”

And my absolute fave from Ashamed-in-Texas: “If you put Perry’s brain in a canary he would fly backward.”

Comments are ALWAYS entertaining. Feel free to read more gems like these here.

But What About The Secession?

photo: zazzle.com

As loyal readers know, I wrote in April about Dick Fairy’s push for Texas to secede from the Union (and possibly to make Chuck Norris Texas’ first president). And from the comments section on that post I know at least some of you were paying attention. Well, it looks like his plan of nobly rejecting bailout funds backfired, then the bright idea of secession wasn’t entirely well-received. So now The Dick Fairy wants to give himself a little something: a push in the voter appeal category. He’ll take the money! Because it’s all about the constituents, right? Fingers crossed!

Dear Dick Fairy,

Too little. Too late.

Love,

Texas

Tags: bailout, dick fairy, governor, money, perry, reject, rejected, rick, stimulus, texas, unemployment

This entry was posted on Monday, July 20th, 2009 at 1:59 PM and is filed under Bad News, WTF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.