In This Economy?

I feel like I keep repeating myself week after week. But will you people please stop ripping off Robert De Niro?

Boy De Niro. Just look at that innocent, demented face.

The latest incident involves an art gallery illegally selling — ugh, I’m already bored. Art is for people who care about art. You can read the story here so I can get back to my point.

Getting back to my point

I don’t feel sorry for De Niro. He doesn’t need the money. Except maybe for hookers.

I feel sorry for me. And for you, depending on if your taste in movies is as good as mine. De Niro doesn’t take losing lightly (I presume). So for every million dollars he loses, he’ll make it up by doing a film (I again presume).

He obviously doesn’t care about the acting craft anymore. De Niro hasn’t taken on an interesting role since Jackie Brown, which I consider a good role mostly because of this:

So in conclusion, I’m in love with Bridget Fonda.

That’s not my conclusion

Totally got sidetracked.

Here’s my point for real: Let’s not steal from De Niro when we should be giving him money to stop making movies. Look at what abomination is on the horizon: Little Fockers, which we can assume will be changed to “Fokkers” to match the spelling of the last low-brow movie in that series, which was also changed to “kk” from “ck” so it would be more than one letter away from “Fuckers.” True story. By that rationale, other film titles would include Tukker: The Man and His Dreame, Slap Shaught, and James Bond Sequel (1983). And Hollywood wouldn’t have touched What Dreams May Come with a 10-foot cock.

People have an inexplicable fear of words.

But not Robert De Niro. He’ll accept a script with any words, no matter what order, no matter how nonsensical, no matter how shamefully awful (see Righteous Kill, Showtime, Stardust or most of what he’s made in the last 20 years).

In this economy, we can’t afford to see another bad De Niro movie, Hollywood can’t afford to make another bad De Niro movie, and De Niro can’t afford to tarnish his rep any further with another bad De Niro movie.

Does anyone else even remember this guy:

So young. So beautiful. So not Analyze This or That.

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Tags: art, Bridget Fonda, Expressionist, Jackie Brown, Mean Streets, Robert De Niro, scam, shitty movies

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 at 2:13 PM and is filed under Bad News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.