In This Economy?

A little over a week ago I noticed a story about a lost wallet returning to its owner after an extended period of time, and then yesterday I saw another story about an eerily similar situation.

So here I am. Writing about lost wallets.

Wallet #1

The first lost wallet story was about a dude named Bill Fulton. Mr. Fulton lost his wallet in 1946 in Baker City, Oregon. He was sitting inside the middle school gymnasium in Baker City watching a basketball game when he lost it. He thought it was gone for good. Somehow he managed to move on with his life.

Fast forward 63 years. The Baker City middle school finally decides to renovate their ancient high school bleachers. When they do they find, lodged in between the bleachers and the wall, a leather wallet. Inside the wallet was Mr. Fulton’s social security card and bicycle license. The article also notes that “the leather was still smooth, the zipper was in working condition and the cowboy design was unmarked.”

A cowboy design AND a zipper? No velcro? That wallet sounds weak.

A representative from the middle school hand delivered the wallet to Mr. Fulton.

He was completely shocked to see it.

Wow.

Wallet #2

Let’s hop over to the other coast for the story of Ruth Bendik’s lost wallet. Her wallet was stolen while she watched the New York City marathon in 1982. One second she had it, and then it was gone. She thought it was gone for good. Somehow she managed to move on with her life.

Fast forward 27 years. A tree care supervisor in Central park decides it’s time to chop down some older and weaker trees. One of these unfortunate trees happens to have a wallet stuffed into it. This wallet belongs to Ruth Bendik. The majority of its original contents were still in place but the $20 bill that had been in there back in ‘82 was gone.

The tree care supervisor handed the wallet over to police and they returned it to Mrs. Bendik the next day.

Wow again.

So what does it all mean?!?!?

I’ve got two theories.

Theory #1: The mythical dimension (I call it Dimension XG-7789-i) where lost things go is full, and is starting to hemorrhage all of our lost shit back to us. It won’t be long before that sock you lost back in ‘98 and the Trapper Keeper you misplaced in the mid-eighties magically find their way back into your life. Jimmy Hoffa’s body is going to turn up under an Arby’s in Colorado and that dog you lost when you were seven is going to find it’s way home. Atlantis will rise up out of the ocean because of some weird shit with tides and Sarah Palin will locate her brain (Cause it’s lost!! Get it!?! *RIMSHOT*). The virginity you lost when you were 15 will all of a sudden be back and wait… what?

Ok, I took that a little too far. Sorry about that. That virginity thing isn’t going to happen. But the rest of it TOTALLY is.

Theory #2: It’s a coincidence.

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Everyone just needs to get a tiny wallet. Then they wouldn’t have to worry about this stuff.

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Tags: new york city, Sarah Palin, wallet

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 3:53 PM and is filed under WTF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.