Sarah Palin’s Gift to America: Her Resignation.
Posted by breadwinner on July 3rd, 2009Dear America,
Surprise! I quit. Happy Birthday!
Oh, and I want to be president after that other guy is done, K?Winks,
Governor just Sarah
"You betcha I'm quittin'!"
Holy Baked Alaska. Sarah Palin just announced today that she will be resigning from her post as Governor of Alaska in a few short weeks. There’s some sort of reason about wanting to “effect change from outside government” or something like that, but here at ITE we know she’s resigning as a birthday present to America for hanging on to her, and to her state of Alaska, for as long as it has.
Sean Parnell
The new governor of Alaska will Sean Parnell, the current Lt. Gov. under Palin. That dude’s coronation is scheduled for July 26th. So maybe it’s a belated birthday gift, America, but a gift just the same. I’m sure America will excuse the poor timing. Oh, and P.S.: Parnell himself only heard about his little promotion two days ago.
There’s speculation that this quick exit for Palin might be due to her desire to run for the presidency (of the Real America, natch). The problem with that reasoning is that her current term ends two years before the next presidential election. Another theory is that she was taking the high road to encourage support in the form of cash moneys donated to that very same presidential run. Because apparently that’s working. The Palin stock is on the up-and-up!
"No, not fishin', I said I'm finished!"
In her way-too-short-notice-to-get-much-media-coverage press conference this morning in Wasilla, Ms. Palin said she was tired of the “superficial, wasteful, political bloodsport” that has been her governorship thus far. Wait, are we talking about her hunting prowess or her political career? Speaking of hunting, Pailin also said in her press conference that she had no interest in being a “lame duck” governor. That’s true, because people shoot ducks. According to MSNBC, Palin added that “Many just accept that ‘lame duck’ status and they hit the road. They draw a paycheck and they kind of milk it. I’m not going to put Alaskans through that. I promised efficiencies and effectiveness.” Interesting. Because the way I see it, if she would have stopped pulling super duper ridiculous stunts, some of which could easily be called “milking it”, things might have been different. So perhaps the idea is for her to kindly bow out for a couple years, gain back her stellar reputation and even save time to “effect some good ‘ole change” just in time for her jaunt to the White House in 2012. Not likely, due to the sketchiness of her two-weeks notice. But good luck Sarah! Here’s hoping you can keep a tighter grip on your shopping budget now that you’re going to be unemployed. It’s tough out there, in this economy, y’know.
Tags: Alaska, gift, governor, independence day, resign, resignation, Sarah Palin, surprise, whoa, you betcha
Is there any chance that Sarah Palin is actually Mark Sanford’s mistress? INTRIGUE!!!!
And as for her 2012 presidential run: The Mayans predicted this in their calendar.
It will be the end of the world.
This is exciting. Not since Polk and Pierce have we had an alliterative title/name president in the White House. I’d totally have an orgasm if Parker Posey ran for office. For many reasons.
I’d totally watch a Biography of Sarah Palin played by Parker Posey on the Lifetime Channel.
Hell yeah…
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