FIU Cheerleaders Slang Skin on Miami Streets for Cash
Posted by guestblogger on July 2nd, 2009NOTE: The following article comes from ITE guestblogger Nic. Hernandez.
Florida International University, you’re doing the whole college thing all wrong. Okay, we’ve all been informed: Shit is bad. But by all means do not let that deprive your young substance-fueled co-eds from the skin and pep that they deserve. As you may have heard by now, FIU has given the cheerleading squad (and the band), the axe. Imagine the terror in the eyes of the incoming frosh who’ve just made the decision to live the life of a Golden Panther for the next four years when they find out that they’ll have to sit in virtual silence at the school’s football games. No fans will be cheering because the team sucks. And there will be no pervy eye candy to ogle either. Boo.
But the cheerleaders are no slouches—the reigning National Champs are currently ranked no. 4 in the country. And it’s with that very brand of excellence, along with a fair amount of skin-brandishing, that they took matters into their own hands. With their skin. The hands of their skin. And some pep and cheer, too, I’m guessing.
Did you know that it takes $50k to run a cheerleading squad for a year? FIFTY FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS! So the girls and boys from the cheer squad put together a sexy calendar and have been washing cars in the streets of Miami, essentially peddling peeks of their nubile young bodies to the ample pervert contingent of southeastern Florida.
But the school may already be in trouble: this young and good-looking crew has gotten the taste of what it’s like to make a little scratch for their hobby. With over $10k already raised in about a week FIU had better hope these chicks don’t just take the money and run. It’d be a shame. I can’t believe that FIU can’t figure out how to parlay a little young tittay and thigh for some loot. Isn’t that the world’s oldest profession or some shit?
If FIU wants to cut something, they should cut the “I”. Then we’d have F_U. That’s better. FU Florida International. Your displaced cheer squad has figured out one of the quickest ways to vanquish the evil oppressor that is the shit economy: a little bit of nekkidness. If we were talking about the Minnesota Golden Gophers that would be another story altogether. But couldn’t the brains down in Miami have thought of something else to cut in The Magic City other than one of its top money-making ventures? Skin.
Losers.
Classic example of how to do it wrong.
Oh yeah. They also eliminated the marching band.
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Tags: 50K, bikinis, cheerleaders, college, FIU, Florida, guestblogger, international, nic. hernandez, university
God bless enterprising young naked people. We old, set-in-our-ways naked people can look to them for inspiration.
That is just about the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, and right before July 4th no less! If there is anything more un-American than a cheerleaderless university I don’t want to know about it. Somebody get Hugh Hefner on the phone, he’ll take care of this preposterous situation post-haste!
Where you at, Hef?
HEY, what do you mean “If we were talking about the Minnesota Golden Gophers that would be another story altogether.” Uncalled for!
Just for the record, cheerleading was actually invented at the U of Minnesota, so were it not for the Golden Gophers there would not have been any half-naked F(I)U cheerleaders to begin with.
You can suck it. FIU….isn’t that a mall “university” like national American U? MN is big time school with a big time athletic program and a far superior EVERYTHING when it comes to education. FIU is a pimple on the arse of higher education and athletics. Go have a street fight with Miami…joke of a school.
No offense meant to the Golden Gophers (chuckle). But c’mon, it’s not like Minn is ever gonna have as many outside nekkid days as Miami. So if you are a school considering canning the cheer squad, at least do it in more blustery environs where you won’t have to see all that bouncing, car wash-moistened skin year-round.
P.S. What IS a Golden Gopher? Can it solve the current economic downturn?
Yup…Everyone wears parka’s year round in MN Nic. Ever been there? Ive been to Miami many times. Its got good weather, but its share of problem like most big cities. No argument that the ‘skin’ days may be higher in Fla, but you should have said U of Washington…they have terrible weather compared to Minneapolis. GopherNation has it correct as well. MN invented cheerleading. Also they have 6 national Championships in football. I dont care if they happened a long time ago, they still won them, its like dismissing Miami’s superbowl wins just because they didnt happen in recent years…it makes no sense.
Hey Gofer, grab me a handful of that scantily clad Minnesota tail so I can Caddyshack all over this place, will ya? Your inability to stay on topic has me all riled up.
That DallasGopher dude needs to calm down.
This is a story about the American dream (attractive young girls putting together a bikini car wash to raise money so they can save their cheerleading squad) that happens to have a mention of Minnesota in it. It’s not a story about why Minnesota sucks or why Miami is awesome.
Focus on the girls and their enterprising spirit!
Oh, and who really cares where cheerleading was invented? How did that come up?
I mean, cheerleading? We’re talking about cheerleading? The stupid broads don’t even watch the games they cheer for.
DallasGopher is my hero. Did Minnesota also invent the inferiority complex?
Didn’t the Golden Girls live in Miami? Didn’t one of them come from Minnesota? Just thought I’d derailed the conversation further. Go GAMECOCKS!
[...] We angered some Minnesota alums (Which still seems random. Those Minnesota people need to chill out. No pun intended.) [...]