In This Economy?

You guys remember Terry Nichols? He was the other dude involved with the Oklahoma City bombing. The guy who wasn’t Timothy McVeigh. The dude with the glasses. Kind of looks like a sniveling dweeb? Here’s a picture:

Well, he’s back in the news. It turns out that Mr. Nichols is outraged at the food he is being served in prison, and is threatening to sue the prison if they don’t improve the conditions.

It turns out that Terry isn’t pleased about the food because it isn’t natural enough for him. Due to a litony of health-related and religous issues (all of which he has adopted since being incarcerated) he cannot eat processed foods. He wants everything to be made from whole grains and he wants more fresh produce on the menu.

According to him, he needs a more refined diet because he has been suffering from constipation, bleeding and hemorrhoids for the last 30 years. Gah. TMI, dude. Bleeding? Ugh.

And in addition to the bleeding ass problem he’s claiming that the prison gruel is violating his religous rights because, according to him, all the processed foods are destroying “His holy temple”.

Oh yeah, and he’s suing for $2 million in damages. $2 million in bloody ass damages. That’s a lot of Charmin.

Oh and one other thing: He can’t afford an attorney but he wants a judge to appoint him one because:

“the issues in this case are complex and will require significant research and investigation.”

Wow.

The issues in this case are complex? Significant research required? It doesnt sound real complex to me. It sounds like an inmate that doesn’t have a lot to do with his day and is bummed out because he’s currently still serving the first of 161 consecutive life sentences got a tummy ache one night and decided to have a little temper tantrum.

Unfortunately for Mr. Nichols, he’s rotting inside ADX, which is like the all-star game of supermax prisons. This isn’t some county jail bullshit. They’ll force you to eat there, man. You think Ted Kaczynski ever pulled this bullshit? Well… he may have… I’m not sure… BUT IT DIDN’T WORK! The fine folks at ADX do not give a fuck about your bleeding ass health problems. They only care that you do your time and don’t hang yourself with your shoelaces.

In conclusion, I think Mr. Nichols should shut the fuck up and eat what he’s given.

THE END.

Tags: blood, food, idiots, Terry Nichols

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 25th, 2009 at 1:59 PM and is filed under WTF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.