Delicious prison food bailout package — ACCEPTED!
Posted by drocolate on June 16th, 2009
In the past I’ve reported on some attempted bailout packages that have been denied. There was Blago’s Costa Rican reality show bailout package. And the veteran’s candy bailout package. And the prison staycation bailout package.
All three of them were DENIED.
So, with that said, it gives me great pleasure to announce that a man in Taipei recently had his attempted bailout package accepted.
Let me explain.
A homeless man in Taipei was recently released from prison. Once he hit the streets he couldn’t shake the taste of prison food. It was all he could think about. So he made the rational decision and decided to steal a box of cotton swabs in an attempt to get thrown back inside.
The plan worked. He was arrested, detained and fed. The article didn’t mention what the meal was but I’m guessing it was either a Hot Pocket or some fish planks from Long John Silvers because those are basically the two most delicious things on Earth.
The point though is that the Taiwanese prison system accepted this dude and fed him. A police officer in the Hsinyi district named Wang had this to say on the subject:
“If someone’s not doing well and comes in around meal time, we’ll definitely prepare food.”
Hmmm. Interesting.
And with that I am proud to announce the first ever ITE meetup! It’s going to be this Friday in the prison inside the Hsinyi district in Taipei. Meals will be provided. Just ask for Wang on your way in. All you have to do to get in is fly to Taipei and steal a box of cotton swabs. Once we’re all inside together enjoying our Hot Pockets, you’ll be able to ask the ITE staffers anything, so start collecting your questions now!
We’ll see you all on Friday for a free prison lunch!
Tags: bailout, deals, Deals & Free Stuff, denied, free food, meetup, taiwan, Wang
I’m pretty sure you don’t have to ask for Wang upon entering a prison. Wang will be provided to you regardless.
[...] one of the most polluted countries on Earth. Great job! Third, she’s uhhhh… her name is Wang! And that name is just too common! [...]