Reminder: Saving money in your mattress is REALLY stupid
Posted by drocolate on June 10th, 2009
A woman in Israel lost her life savings recently. She wasn’t the victim of a Madoff-type scheme or a broken bank. She didn’t get conned or robbed. Nope. None of that. She simply threw her life savings away, because she had been saving them inside of an old mattress.
The woman, who did not want to be identified (big shock), said she had had some bad experiences with banks in the past so she did what any smart person with a bank phobia would do, and started slipping money inside her mother’s mattress. Yes, it was her mom’s mattress. It wasn’t even her own mattress. WTF, lady?
So the story goes like this: Mom complains because the mattress is old (and bumpy as shit because of all the wadded up hundreds in it). Woman wants to please mom so woman goes out and buys mom a new mattress. Woman then throws out old mattress and, well, the story from the AP says this next part best:
“The next day, she said, she remembered that she had hidden her life savings inside the old mattress. “I woke up in the morning screaming, when it hit me what happened,” said the Tel Aviv woman, who asked not to be identified.”
“She remembered that she had hidden her life savings in the old mattress.” Huh?!? Excuse me? You just forgot that you had been making deposits into your mom’s bed? You forgot??! Something stinks…
And here’s the worst part: It was roughly $1 million in savings that were in there. Yeah.
From there the woman freaked out and started trying to find the magic money mattress. She went to three different landfills and so far has come up with nothing. I think it’s a little weird that she has yet to find anything, but I guess the mattress throwing-out business is booming in Israel.
Either that or this entire story is bullshit.
Yeah, that’s right. Bullshit. I’m pointing my finger at this woman AND at AP reporter, Ian Deitch, who went out to “research” this fabrication. Here’s an actual section from the AP story:
“She said the money was in U.S. dollars and Israeli shekels. She refused to say how she acquired such a large sum. “It was all my money in the world,” she said. There was no way to verify her claims, and she refused to disclose key details.”
Usually when a reporter encounters the phrase, “there was no way to verify her claims,” that’s kind of a stopping point. If we can’t verify her claims we have no way of knowing if she’s being honest.
This notion that she simply forgot that a million dollars was in her discarded mattress is insane. Does she have a problem with amnesia? Did she not feel the extra weight of the mattress when she was taking it out? Does she have a history of being a total and complete lie-pants?
Oh wait, that’s right, Ian Deitch said she refused to disclose key details. Nice reporting, dude.
Geez, so where was I. I started off talking about a crazy tale of a woman throwing out some money and now this whole thing has turned into an indictment of the AP’s kooky news desk. It was never my intention to be so mean to Mr. Deitch, I just want some answers. Let me throw it over to all of you:
What do you guys think was in the mattress?
Was it money? A dead whore? A shit-ton of drugs? A full collection of Desert Storm trading cards? Something else? Let me know in the comments what you think.
Oh, and one more thing: DO NOT SAVE MONEY IN YOUR MATTRESS! PUT IT IN A BANK! DO IT!
Maybe it was a million dollars worth of mattress stuffing.
The AP can suck it. They’re lazy leeches.
Reminder: Saving money in your mattress is REALLY stupid | In This ……
A woman in Israel recently threw her life savings away because she had been saving them inside of an old mattress. WARNING: This rant is a little unfocused….
I once threw away $200 in nickles that I was saving in my pillow. At least I remembered the roll of $100′s hidden in the Mayo jar.