In This Economy?

My relationship with facebook has been a little strained for a while now.

Ever since their last update, I haven’t been as big of a fan as I was in the past. Things that used to work great, like the photo uploader thing and the event creator thing, seem to be more glitchy now. And instead of getting better, facebook seems like it’s falling further and further into the MySpace-esque pit of bullshititude. Yeah.

And that brings me to the latest and most despicable offender of all: The facebook quiz.

The sudden onslaught of facebook quizzes makes the horrible “25 things about me” period from a few months back seem like a walk in the park. Seriously. They’re out of control. These quizzes are finally giving merit to notion that facebooking at work is a waste of valuable company time. These quizzes are a pandemic! And I’m talking about a real pandemic, not a Swine Flu pandemic! These quizzes are slowly hammering the final nail into facebook’s coffin!! They are FUCKING KILLING FACEBOOK!! AHHH!!

Whoa. I need to calm down a little bit. I’m being over-dramatic. But these quizzes really are bullshit. Here, check out some a shit load of examples.

And yes, these are all real.

Love, marriage and babies

Let’s start this off with a great one. Please note the spelling of “your” in the result. I guess the people who make these quizzes can’t be faulted for some poor grammar. There all just two busy making up awesome thing’s.

Scott? Really? I like the explanation on this one. “You and Scott are both daring, skillful, bright people. You are amazing athletes blah blah blah”. Reality check: Some fat fuck named Scott made this quiz and now he spends his days sitting behind his 67-inch monitor chortling in a horny way every time a girl takes it.

Has anyone out there ever wondered this? Really? A love quote? What the hell is a love quote? What are some of the other options for this one? Be mine? I love you? Let’s bang?

No comment.

Really! Seriously!

I’m sure at one point there was a quiz called the “Which state should you live in” quiz. Then this one came around. It’s asking the exact same question, but it’s getting serious! I’m sure it asks more hard-hitting questions that get you to be more honest. Seriously.

Who are you REALLY?!?!?!??!??!?! SERIOUSLY! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?! You wanna know who you are? You’re a person doing a stupid facebook quiz. Yeah, that’s it.

Abilene is a shit hole. REALLY! I’ve been there.

Multiple Choice

You’re sitting there surfing the netwebz when you just get this feeling. This feeling that you REALLY need to let the world know what soda is the best soda. Thank goodness facebook can help you relay that message. As a sidenote: Why is Fanta Orange on here, and why isn’t Dr. Pepper on here?

This is one of the big questions of our time. It’s right there with “What is the meaning of life?” and “boxers or briefs?”. Last time I saw this on facebook it had over 125,000 responses. Yikes.

Other assorted crap

0% white. If you look down at the results it says ” you live and a city with not to many white people.” Yeah I have no idea what that means but apparently it has something to do with your race. And it’s “YOU’RE” you fucking idiots!!!

Twilight is fucking huge with these quizzes. “What Twilight character are you?” “What Twilight moment are you?” “Do you REALLY like Twilight… SERIOUSLY?” It’s major fodder for quizzes. I put this one up because it stood out to me. Why? Maybe because Twilight came out in 2008.

Sigh.

What the hell is “every time we touch”? Who is Cascada? Let me do some homework real quick. Check out the video HERE. Oh my. First of all, this shouldn’t even be in the running for anyone’s theme song. Maybe if the quiz was “what’s my eurotrash anthem?” or “what’s my favorite song that has a video with strobes in a library?” — but not for theme song. And also, I hate when people spell “your” as “ur”, though as we saw above, these quiz authors have trouble with the different forms of you’re yore your.

Ugh, that song is going to be in my head for a week now. Fucking theme songs…

Because you’re not satisfied simply knowing what animal you are, there is this quiz. This quiz tells you what kind of animal your spirit is. There are actually only three possible results for this one: wolf, snake and Vincent Gallo.

Sex is your drug of choice! And now all of the facebooking world will know! I love this quiz. I also love how the quiz author dropped a “lol” into the result explanation. Plus, that pic is fuckin’ hott, so this one is just a total win-win.

Hell yeah, Lite Brite.

Hell no, facebook quizzes about Lite Brite.

Esmerelda? Wow, whoever took this quiz got screwed. No Jasmine? Or Cinderella? Or Ursula? And what the hell does it mean when you “beat to your own drum?”

Oh my. Just make it stop.

–

Actually, I think that’s it. This has gone for enough. If you can’t see the stupidity of these quizzes after all that, then you’re hopeless. Stop wasting your time on these things! There are so many better things to waste your time on!

Like this site!

One more thing: Let me know in the comments what the worst/stupidest Facebook quiz you’ve ever seen was.

Tags: facebook, idiots, nerds, quizzes, waste of time

This entry was posted on Friday, June 5th, 2009 at 12:46 PM and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.