Any Bunny Will Do: Playboy For Sale!
Posted by breadwinner on May 29th, 2009
The word is out: The original sugar daddy Hugh Hefner is looking for a sugar daddy to call his very own. Selling Playboy? Over his dead body! Wait — is Hef dead!? Oh no, that was Swayze. For a few hours last week on Twitter. Too soon?
Not So Fast, Eager Beavers.
photo: Michael Budrys, Chicago Tribune
Playboy Enterprises, Inc. is reportedly for sale for an asking price of $300 million, otherwise known as three times what it’s worth. Can someone say golden condom — I mean parachute? Not surprisingly, with that sort of enlarged prostate — I mean price tag — nobunny has yet to take the bait.
Mo Money, Mo Problems.
According to DailyFinance.com quoting The New York Post quoting the Hef himself, his biggest regret was taking the company pubic — I mean public. This is probably because since he did, the shares have tanked by 80 percent, mostly due to the availability of free porn online. Though, lately, as the porn industry has proven itself impermeable to recession, the company has experienced a little more lift, or “a skip in its step,” if you will.
Again, according to the Post, “Christie Hefner, Hef’s daughter, stepped down as CEO in January and formally left the board at its annual meeting last week, severing her ties.”
Apparently, Playboy has been furiously cutting their spending lately in response to the flaccidity of their stock. They reduced their workforce by more than 25 percent recently, and even their entire New York office had to close its legs — er — doors. And that’s nothing to joke about.
Maybe Hef is just so torn up by the loss of his girls next door that he can’t bear to go on without them. Okay, NOW I’m joking.
But in all seriousness, if every single one of the one million ITE readers each put in a few hundred bucks, I’m thinking we can have one heck of a party at that there mansion. I call grotto!
Tags: for sale, girls next door, grotto, hugh hefner, mansion, playboy, swayze, twitter
I’ve been trying to buy out the magazine over the last 20 years though a payment plan called a “subscription,” and now that old bastard is going to sell it out from under me???
I heard a rumor he was going to sell it to a boating company and they were going to change the name to Playbuoy.
*RIMSHOT*