In This Economy?

I went and saw Terminator Salvation today. Overall it was an ok movie. Not great, not terrible.

But this isn’t a movie review.

This is a knowledge share.

You see, Terminator Salvation isn’t just a movie — it’s a learning experience. Below are 5 things I learned from watching it. I recommend you all go see it and see what you can learn.

WARNING: There may be some minor spoilers, so turn back now if that sort of thing freaks you out.

1. In the future, robots have fashion sense.

About halfway into Terminator Salvation some of the main characters get abducted and taken to a big, scary robot lab. Outside this lab they show a few Terminator robots standing guard. One of these robots is wearing a do rag (see above).

Who put this do rag on the Terminator? Did it pick it out itself? Why a do rag? Was there a Terminator in a fedora that didn’t make it into the final cut of the movie? Maybe a Terminator in a clown wig?

I also noticed another Terminator wearing a trench coat. It was all very weird.

I guess when they say that the robots became self aware, they weren’t kidding.

*RIMSHOT*

2. Moon Bloodgood is a fox.

Yeah.

I’m not going to pontificate on her foxness. This isn’t Maxim Magazine.

You get the idea.

Moving on.

3. In the future, everyone has perfect teeth.

Check out Moon’s teeth up there. In case you can’t really see them just know that they are perfect. And blindingly white.

Everyone in Terminator Salvation had teeth just like hers, and for some reason that just didn’t seem right to me. It’s a post-apocalyptic wasteland and people are still brushing three times a day? And flossing? Is there clean water? Was there a shitload of Colgate in some bunker somewhere that everyone has been using? Maybe all the dentists in the world were in another bunker when the apocalypse happened. You know, one of those underground Pro-Dentite meetings.

Yeah… no.

I wanted to see some cavities. That’s all I’m saying.

4. Radiation is nothing to be afraid of.

This movie takes place after evil computers have launched most of the nuclear weapons in the world. Everything has been turned into a wasteland. Yet, none of the characters seem to struggle with any sort of radiation poisoning or mutation.

And to make matters worse, a nuke goes off in the first ten minutes of the movie. Christian Bale watches it happen. He’s like maybe a quarter mile away from it. And he’s fine! He just sort of squints, mutters something in his typical Bale growl and wanders off.

I’m not trying to be picky but come on. What sort of message does this send to the kids?

We must respect radiation. We must!

5. It’s easy to survive a helicopter crash.

In Terminator Salvation Christian Bale survives two helicopter crashes inside of an hour.

I always thought helicopter crashes were pretty fatal, but apparently not.

I can just see the kids now. After exposing themselves to radiation just for fun, they’ll get in their helicopters and crash them cause they wanna be just like John Connor.

Not cool.

–

Well, that’s what I learned. Go out and see the movie, then feel free to tell me what you all learned in the comments.

Tags: christian bale, helicopter, Moon Bloodgood, movies, radiation, teeth, terminator, Terminator Salvation

This entry was posted on Friday, May 22nd, 2009 at 12:06 AM and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.