WASTE OF MONEY: HAREM PANTS
Posted by breadwinner on May 18th, 2009It’s time for another episode of Waste of Money.
Today I’m going to rant pointlessly about:
HAREM PANTS
HOTT!
Breadwinner: Hey everybody! Remember M.C. Hammer?
Everybody: Yeah!
Breadwinner: Remember his pants?
Everybody: Yeah!
Breadwinner: Want to drop $178 on a pair of those, pair them with some heels and hit the bars?
Everybody: Yeah!
Wait.
“Let’s not and say we did.” See — that was an example of an acceptable throwback. Whereas M.C. Hammer pants/harem pants are not.
I could keep my mouth shut through Doc Martin’s, girls wearing way-too-translucent-leggings as pants, and even those weirdly short, short fringe bangs, but this is over the line for me. This cannot stand. (Okay, so I didn’t actually keep my mouth shut about any of those…surprised?)
Let’s look at a sweet, sweet harem pants montage:
Anyway, in honor of this new/old trend/train wreck, I’ve compiled a list of ten way more cost-conscious products near-guaranteed to keep all those eligible men far, far away from you. Just like wearing those hideous things will.
TEN THINGS CHEAPER THAN $178 HAREM PANTS THAT ARE GUARANTEED TO KEEP MEN AWAY JUST AS WELL:
PRODUCT (COST)
10. Garlic (<$1)
Photo: Reuters
9. Too much perfume (<$1)
Photo: Woman's Day
8. Gaggle of giggling girls (self-respect)
Photo: dailymail.co.uk
7. “Crazy eyes” (FREE)
6. Lazy eye (FREE)
5. Camel toe (FREE)
4. Faux face tat (8 carnival tickets)
3. Wedding magazines ($5)
2. Pregnancy test ($15)
It's for a friend.
And the number one cheaper-than-harem-pants product guaranteed to keep a man away:
1. Puke on yourself (FREE)
Photo: SWNS
See? That was easy.
What’s next? built-in kneepads/elbow padded pants? Oh. My.
Photo: 3.bp.blogspot.com
Previously on Waste of Money:
* X-men Origins: Wolverine
* Rollerblades
* The Beatles Remastered Catalog
* George W. Bush Commemorative Merchandise
* Fast & Furious
* Snugglette
* Truck Nuts
Tags: garlic, girls, harem pants, lazy eyes, perfume, pregnancy test, puke, train wreck, uggs, wedding magazines
WASTE OF MONEY: HAREM PANTS | In This Economy?…
It’s time for another episode of Waste of Money. Today I’m going to rant pointlessly about: HAREM PANTS Breadwinner: Hey everybody! Remember MC….
Umm… so… I realize this post was directed toward the ladies, but I was walking down the street the other day and saw a dude. And this dude was wearing harem pants. There was no mistaking it. It may have been the first ever sighting of harem mants.
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