Hollywood is in the midst of an idea recession
Posted by drocolate on May 12th, 2009
Hollywood has, for the most part, run out of ideas.
Just look at the evidence:
Exhibit A: Sequels, prequels, threequels, remakes and do-overs
This has been said before, so I’ll make this point brief.
Just take a look at this summer’s movie schedule and you’ll see that pretty much every major release is a sequel or a prequel or a remake. We’ve already seen two blockbusters come and go (X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Star Trek), and both of them were based on existing material (duh). Next weekend we have Angels and Demons, which is a sequel (and a book… BONUS). Then from there we’ve got new films in the Harry Potter, Terminator, Transformers and Night at the Museum franchises.
The fact that Night at the Museum is now a franchise makes me a little sick. Ugh.
Now I understand that using summer movies as my example here is not entirely fair. Summer is when the movies with the biggest budgets get wheeled out, and when hundreds of millions of dollars are at stake it’s good to have the built in audience a sequel provides.
But the fact that there’s still shit like National Treasure: Book of Secrets and Fast & Furious being released in the non-summer months demonstrates that the Hollywood idea recession is very real.
And very scary.
Let’s move on.
Exhibit B: Reading sucks — let’s just watch some books
Books are written to be filmed these days. Dan Brown, the unbelievably average author of both The Davinci Code and the previously mentioned Angels and Demons, has a new book coming out this year. This new book, which has the AWESOME title The Lost Symbol, has already been optioned to become a movie.
The book is not out yet. It won’t be out for months. No one has read it. It could blow goats. Yet, even despite these unknowns, Columbia Pictures is all ready to roll.
It’s insane. And more than that, it’s evidence that fewer and fewer people in Hollywood are looking for exciting original content.
The crutch of sequels and books really is enough to acknowledge that Hollywood is in the midst of a nasty idea recession and needs an idea bailout. Unfortunately however, I’m not done there…
Exhibit C: Anything can be a movie
Today I came across an article that pushed this whole rant to a new level. Check it out HERE. It seems that some genius in Hollywood thinks it would be a good idea to take the popular/unbelievably ridiculous TV show American Gladiators, and turn it into a movie.
Yeah. An American Gladiators movie.
Shit.
Scott Mednick, one of the dudes who is producing this shit sandwich, had this to say about it:
“I look forward to creating a compelling story that launches a whole new set of characters.”
Compelling story? Mr. Mednick is obviously insane. Unless “Who’s getting shot with the oversized Nerf gun now?” is what he considers to be a compelling story.
He also premiered a trailer for the film, which was unexpected since it was only just announced. Check it out below:
Alright, I lied. Actually, that’s the trailer for this summer’s upcoming G.I. Joe movie. It’s based on the popular line of G.I. Joe products. It’s also pretty much what an American Gladiators movie would look like. It’s got overly patriotic people in ridiculous costumes fighting over-the-top bad guys while shitty special effects go off all around them. If G.I. Joe threw some of those giant Q-Tips in there, they could just re-release it with a new title in 9 months.
It’s pathetic.
Add to that mess the fact that last year boardgames Monopoly, Battleship and Ouija Board were optioned to become films, and we’ve got a full blown idea DEPRESSION on our hands.
Yeah. A Monopoly movie. And supposedly Ridley Scott is going to direct it. From Blade Runner to Monopoly.
Fuck.
This trend is disturbing. It won’t be long before movies are being based on even stranger and more insignificant source material. I wouldn’t be shocked to see a “Based on tweets by” credit in a movie in the near future. Or maybe a movie based on something culturally significant like the Sham-Wow. Though, with Vince Offer’s penchant for punching hookers, that may actually be a pretty solid movie.
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This post is already too long, so I’ll wrap it up quick.
Hollywood needs an idea bailout. And fast. Otherwise we’ll be seeing things like Night at the Museum 17: Battle for the Museum of Strange and Rarely Used HTML Tags or National Treasure 7: Nic Cage’s hair IS the Treasure popping up at the multiplex.
Yikes.
Tags: American Gladiators, bailout, Hollywood, movies, recession, summer, youtube
Creed: Stapp Infection
I hope they make Teen Wolf III: The Death of Red Riding Hood — She Had It Coming.
A.O. Scott (NYTimes) on reading Dan Brown: I have come to believe that to do so would be a sin against my faith, not in the Church of Rome but in the English language, a noble and beleaguered institution against which Mr. Brown practices vile and unspeakable blasphemy.