2 easy ways to cash in on Jacob and Emma
Posted by drocolate on May 8th, 2009
The Social Security Administration took some time off from actually working to announce that Jacob and Emma were the most popular baby names in 2008.
Emma somehow managed to knock Emily out of the top spot. This is probably because Americans tend to be quite lazy and getting that “lee” sound out just took too much work. Look for “Em” to be the top name next year.
As for all the little Jacob’s out there. Well, they can all celebrate their tenth year of being overexposed and average (sorry, guys). Ten straight years on the top! Wow!
So why am I reporting on this? Do I really give a shit about baby names? No, not really. My kids are named Xander, Teddy, Byron, Orson, Percy, Coco, Liberty, Juice, Baby, Stern and Emma… so, for the most part, I don’t care much for this list.
No, I’m reporting on this because of the money making opportunities it presents.
Now Jacob, because he’s celebrating a decade on top, is a bit of a stagnant industry. Gas stations already know to stock extra Jacob fake license plate keychains.
But, with Emma being the new kid on the block, there is money to be made.
Here’s a couple quick examples of what you can do to cash in on all these Emma’s.
1. T-shirts
I know I’ve touched on this before, but there is a shit-ton of money to be made in the T-shirt biz if you just come out with the right shirt at the right time. Check out some examples below.
2. Shitty trinkets
You all know what I’m talking about here. In every gift shop and gas station on the planet there is at least one carousel devoted to personalized shitty trinkets. I’m talking about keychains, coasters, shotglasses, lip discs, lighters, temporary tattoos, magnets, stamps and even truck nuts. Yeah. Truck nuts.
Plus, this one is a double-edged money maker. There is also a business opportunity in taking all of the old, stale Emily stuff off the shelves and destroying it. We’ve got to make room for Emma! She’s the new queen of names!
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Sorry for the abbreviated list, but my wife’s going into labor. Little Prometheus is on his way into the world!
Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phil.
My cousin just had a baby Emma last week. To be fair, she was named after a dead aunt. To be unfair, what a stupid fucking name.
And a nod to simiansoul for naming Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel’s kids.