Welcome to Chuck E. Sleaze
Posted by drocolate on May 4th, 2009
A woman in St. Louis named Jennifer Sorbello is filing a lawsuit against Chuck E. Cheese (the restaurant chain, not the character).
Wait, what? Chuck E. Cheese? The restaurants with the friendly animal characters (like Mr. E. Cheese) and the rockin’ animatronic band and the awful pizza? The same restaurants that are a haven for children and joy and ball pits?
Why would anyone want to sue them?
Well, because back in August of last year, Chuck E. Cheese (the character this time) wandered up to Ms. Sorbello and groped her breast. Ms. Sorbello’s attorney explains it best:
“He looked at her, reached out, grabbed her breast and moved along.”
Moved along to grope another breast no doubt. The lawyer also said that the incident was captured in a photo by Ms. Sorbello’s stepfather, who didn’t realize he had captured such a tender moment until he reviewed his pictures. Now THAT is a photobomb.
Wow. This is some heavy stuff. The lawsuit reads that Ms. Sorbello was “damaged in the form of emotional distress and humiliation”. I’m not trying to downplay Chucky’s boob grab, but humiliation? C’mon, Jennifer. Did you really feel confident and awesome when you walked in there? When you walked past the ball pit and smelled the faint remnants of the pants-pissing accident from the day before? Or when the animatronic band started making weird robot-on-human eye contact with you during their 17th “encore”?
Once again let me state that I’m not trying to downplay the chest petting, I’m merely stating that everyone over the age of four is a little humiliated to be standing in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Ms. Sorbello may be wise to lead with the emotional distress angle because I really can’t come up with any argument against that. I mean, just imagine having THIS THING come at you and grope your breast, or hug you a little too long, or slap you on the butt, or tap your foot in the bathroom, or cut in front of you in line at the porn shop.
Yeah. That shit is REALLY disturbing.
Two things:
1. I used to have a crush on the cheerleader mouse. But she doesn’t look as hot to me as she did in 1981. NOTE: I said AS hot.
2. I was actually reaching out to shake Ms. Sorbello’s hand. It’s hard to see out of that mask. I’m countersuing to make her get a breast reduction to avoid future accidental contact.