Sex With Hookers: Zee Germans Ain’t Buying It
Posted by breadwinner on May 2nd, 2009
clipping: TIME Magazine
Well, maybe we were wrong when we said all seven sins were recession-proof. Because according to TIME Magazine, sex just isn’t selling all that well in Germany these days. It’s sad, really.
Germany is home to over 400,000 legally operating prostitutes! Despite all those hundreds of thousands of smooth operators, some brothel owners are “resorting to gimmicks like price cuts, package deals and other promotions” to get folks in the door. Remember when naked chicks and the promise of sex used to do that? My how times have changed.
According to this article, a brothel called Berlin’s Pussy Club has seen a 20% decline in customer traffic, and has had to resort to an all-you-can-eat-drink-and-boink sort of a deal. About $100 bucks will get you unlimited food, drink and girls. The article quoted one Monika Heitman, who “has worked with prostitutes for over 20 years” (lucky!) as saying, “Thirty years ago prostitutes were really dedicated to their work.”
Again, it’s just plain sad.
Sorry, I just had to.
Well, German brothels, we’re here to help. Let’s get brainstorming and come up with some “other promotions” to help you stimulate sales (yup.) Consider this your Boobie Bailout, Germany!
Buy One Get One
Ahhh the BOGO. It’s everybody’s favorite promotion, next to FREE, of course. This could apply to everything, or be limited to certain activities. Use your imagination.
Kids Eat Free
It’s not what you’re thinking. Unless you’re thinking ‘send Junior off to the buffet while I go to the Champagne Room’. Do brothels even have Champagne Rooms?
Suck For A Buck
It works for bachelorette parties, so why not give it a try? This one’s sure to get them in the door.
Okay that’s all I’ve got. Any other ideas? You know what to do. Talk amongst yourselves.
Tags: brothels, economy, german, hanover, recession proof
“Berlin’s Pussy Club”
Subtle.
That’s what my friend John Berlin named his penis. For real. Ask him.