5 ways to improve your company logo
Posted by drocolate on April 24th, 2009
I’m going to be very clear and upfront about this.
Your company logo sucks.
Maybe it was cool, like, 10 years ago, but in today’s climate of constantly shifting design trends, it just looks old. And it sucks.
But don’t worry. You can easily improve your company logo and make it look fresh and new again. And with a fresh, new logo comes new opportunities. And with new opportunities comes new profits. And with new profits comes new sports cars. And with new sports cars comes new loose chicks that are really into dudes in sports cars.
Below are five easy ways to improve your logo (and to get you into one of those sports cars with one of those loose chicks).
NOTE: Despite the fact that the ITE logo is nearly perfect and awesome and young and fresh and new and childlike, I’ll be using it as the guinea pig for this experiment.
So without further adieu, let’s jump in.
THE ORIGINAL:
That’s a pretty great logo as it is, but it could be better. Let’s improve the shit out of it! YEAH!
Improvement #1: Film Grain
Now that’s an improvement! Nothing will give your logo credibility like a little film grain. From a distance people will see your logo and ask themselves, “Am I looking at a classic old movie from a classic old time? Was time travel invented and was I transported back to this classic time without my knowledge? Is the flux capacitor real?”
Pretty much every consumer loves time travel AND old movies so you can see why this improvement resonates so strongly. Plus, a little film grain immediately makes your logo look older and more experienced. And I know it seems like all of that contradicts everything I said above about having a logo with a fresh new look, but it doesn’t.
Trust me.
Improvement #2: Photocopy
You ever try to print your color company logo on a black and white printer? It doesn’t work!
So why not change your logo so that it CAN be printed on a black and white printer! Imagine how much money you’ll save on cyan toner! Plus, as a bonus, the new logo with the photocopy effect looks freaking awesome. It’s got a simple quality that really can’t be put into words.
Seriously, that logo up there is awesome.
Moving on.
Improvement #3: Lens Flare
Yeah, that’s right. I’m breaking out the big guns. There are very few things that will make your logo look as glamorous/sexy/amazing/horny as a big fat lens flare right across the front of it.
Just look at that thing up there. Need some sunglasses? I think you do.
This one’s greatness speaks for itself, so I’m moving on.
Take all the time you need.
Improvement #4: Sprayed Strokes
Right now your logo is too direct. It’s too easy to decipher what you’re selling and why you’re selling it. The consumer wants some mystery in their lives. Why do you think so many people watch Lost?!?
This is where sprayed strokes come in. With some spraying and some stroking (huh?) your clear, easy-to-read logo will look like a messy mess in no time. And that’s the point!
Imagine how much more business your company will get if you’re getting hundreds more calls every day from people simply asking, “what the fuck is your company called?”
From there your call center will calmly tell them the name of the company, the company’s mission statement and then get them to buy some stuff.
CHA-CHING! THANKS SPRAY STROKES!
Improvement #5: Mosaic Tiles
“Is that a logo I see right there, or is it a beautiful art piece sitting outside an ancient ruin somewhere in Mesopotamia?”
That’s the question your new customers will be asking themselves upon seeing your logo with the mosaic tile treatment shown above. It’s the perfect way to take something blah and make it into a work of art. This improvement is bound to lead to tons of questions from your consumers. Questions like:
- “How long did it take to line up all those tiles??”
- “Was this company around during ancient Roman times??”
- “Does that logo look equally amazing up close??”
And with questions. Come answers. And with answers comes MONEY!
YEAH!
You know what, I’m on such a roll. I can’t finish just yet. Let’s do one more.
Special Bonus Improvement: The Super Logo
There it is. The super logo.
What you’re feasting your eyes on is a logo that’s been film grained, photocopied, lens flared (OMG!), stroke sprayed AND mosaic tiled.
Looks amazing, doesn’t it?
I can already smell all the new revenue this beauty is going to bring in, and it smells delicious.
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I hope all of you out there find this guide helpful. And remember:
Your company logo sucks.
Tags: improvements, lists, logo
Don’t forget the “downgrading font change” one
We need more innovation like this. If everyone thought this way, the economy would turn around or NEVER HAVE CRASHED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
You had me at “loose chicks.” And then again in the following sentence with “loose chicks.”
Now take this to the CEO and make him think it’s his idea. Once he can justify a 8000% bonus out of it and have his lawyers tweak it so shareholders buy it. MAGIC, Bitches, MAGIC!
I’m pretty damn disappointed in this article. It’s simply incomplete. I mean, you didn’t even touch on conte crayon, charcoal or brush strokes, not to mention gaussian blur.