In This Economy?

KT Barbecue, a small barbecue restaurant in Reading, Ohio has enjoyed a boom in business recently thanks to a buxom mannequin named Bar-Be. Get it? Bar-Be. Like Barbie. But also like Barbeque. Shit, that is clever…

Moving on, the restaurant owner, Kenny Tessel, was frustrated with slow business a few weeks ago when he decided to take things up a notch. He procured the mannequin (from the sexy fake woman store I assume), placed her outside and then watched as business increased by 30%. He didn’t change anything else. The food and prices remained the same. The only thing that was different was the sexy fake woman (SFW) standing outside. One recent new customer said this about Bar-Be’s effectiveness:

“It was eye-catching that’s for sure. My husband almost crashed his car… (and) it definitely worked. It brought us in.”

These undeniable results got me thinking. If one SFW in cutoffs and a bikini top boosted KT Barbecue’s business, just imagine what one could do for other companies that have been having money problems as of late. I think this may be the economic solution we’ve all been looking for. We need more sexy fake women!

Here’s some examples of potential SFW bailout situations:

• Drop a sexy fake woman outside of AIG and I’m sure all their bullshit will just go away. Just look into her sexy fake woman eyes!
• Put a sexy fake woman outside every GM dealership across the country and sales will rebound quick. Just think about it. Where are you going to go? To the GM dealer with the sexy fake woman or the Honda dealer with the reliable cars? That’s an easy one!
• Sexy fake women could have saved Bennigan’s AND Circuit City.
• Drop a sexy fake woman into the Gulf of Aden and watch the piracy problem vanish. No one can resist her unrealistic sexy fake measurements!

Sexy fake women are the future. Get yours today.

Oh, and one more note on this: Go HERE and check out the video of this news story at the top right. Make sure to note Kenny Tessel’s quotes (“Barbeque is the new sexy!”) AND what the reporter says at 23 seconds in.

We are so fucking relevant right now.

UPDATE: This story isn’t over yet. Zoning officials in Reading (or as I’m calling it from now on: Prude Town) have ruled that Mr. Tessel has to dress Bar-Be more modestly.

Check out the story HERE.

Tags: bailout, Barbie, mannequin, sex, sexy fake woman, sexy people, SFW

This entry was posted on Monday, April 20th, 2009 at 12:28 PM and is filed under Good News, WTF. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.