Actor/Badass Chuck Norris Pledges to Act as President of Texas
Posted by breadwinner on April 17th, 2009
"That's PRESIDENT Walker Texas Ranger."
I know I’m playing with fire here, and that without even trying he could kill me with one flick of his wrist, but I cannot remain silent any longer. I’m going to have to speak my piece about Chuck Norris. Honestly, I’m just a little bit terrified, so I’m just going to show you the image I’m going to picture whenever I think of Chuck Norris (aka 1970′s perfume Charlie by REVLON).
Yup. That's way less intimidating.
Now that I’ve dealt with that, let’s back up a bit. About a month-or-so ago, Chuck Norris went on the Glen Beck radio show. First of all, let me say that I truly hope that Chuck Norris, being the tough Texan and American hero that he is, didn’t catch the over-dramatic-teary-eyed-puss-disease from Mr. Beck. That could really destroy his image. That being said, he came at America hard, saying, “I may run for president of Texas.”
Whoa. That there statement might have just reversed my position on secession, y’all.
Naaah, who am I kidding? But I am considering supporting a Chuck Norris run for President of the USA in 2012. I mean, seriously—if you thought nobody was going to fuck with America with a badass black president, just imagine what would happen if actor/badass Chuck Norris was our Commander in Chief!
Photo: worldnetdaily.com
Norris wrote an article on the conservative site World Net Daily that began with that presidential bid on Glen Beck’s radio show, and went on to quote many famous Americans of yore, relating each to we Texans’ current plight. Personally, I’m thinking that back in the 1860’s Texans had it way worse than things are now, but as proven by the commentary on my previous ITE post, I could be wrong.
Yeah I’m just going to end it right there. Because I know what’s good for me.
Because of this, Chuck may well roundhouse kick the Internet – once – and kill us all. Thanks for that.
I like to spray some Charlie on my privates before I go to the discotheque.
I tell ya this. If Chuck picks Bill Brasky as his running mate and the DOS EQQUIS badass dude as his Secretary of State, then hellz yeah I’m voting for ‘em. AND I’m adding some trucknutz to my Civic.
I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as quickly as I could!
[...] start thinking about considering the idea of secession — from the country. At least Perry had Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent behind him when he kinda sorta declared Texas’ sovereignty. Who does Maryland [...]
[...] you remember way back in April 2009 in ITE history? No? Well, here’s a quick refresher: when we last left world-famous badass Chuck Norris, he [...]