One woman’s attempt to get out of doing her taxes
Posted by drocolate on April 14th, 2009
A woman in Germany jumped into the polar bear pit last week at the Berlin zoo. Why she did it is not known, but I have a theory.
I think she was an American tourist who was simply looking for a way around doing her taxes this year.
The woman waited until feeding time before jumping over the fence and into the polar bear habitat. After landing in the water below she started swimming towards one of the bears. As soon as she got close, the polar bear reacted like any good polar bear that is being disturbed during feeding time would, and bit the woman several times. The bear also managed to rip her cardigan off (I assume because he liked the style of it).
Geez, this woman is obviously an idiot. I mean, who swims in a cardigan?
After the mild mauling and cardigan destruction, the woman realized her plan was crap and attempted to escape. Luckily for her, most of the bears were successfully distracted by zookeepers while a rope was lowered into the habitat. One of the bears, who saw through the zookeepers attempted distractions, tried to pull the woman back in but eventually let her go. He probably wanted her pants, but then realized upon closer inspection that they really wouldn’t match his new cardigan.
And what good are pants if they don’t match your cardigan?!?! RIGHT?!!
From there the woman was taken off to be treated (both physically and mentally I hope). She was later given a ticket for trespassing and, yeah, that’s it. Just a little slap on the wrist.
For more amazing pictures and a sometimes-working-sometimes-not-working video, go HERE.
And please don’t forget to do your taxes. If this woman would have known that “attempted polar bear mauling while in Germany” isn’t a suitable excuse for a late filing, this entire thing may have been avoided.
Tags: Germany, idiots, polar bears, suicide, taxes
Dumb bitch deserves to be eaten.
Agreed.