Texas Gov. Rick Perry “Wakes Up” D.C., Declares Sovereignty
Posted by breadwinner on April 14th, 2009
Date: April 9, 2009
Dear Governor Rick Perry,
Seriously??!
XOXO,
Texas
So earlier this evening I’m innocently trotting across the interwebs when I stumble upon a link from a friend that takes me to a very boring-looking YouTube video. And then I hear the boring-looking man on the screen very boringly announce the governor of Texas, Rick Perry, and then the man himself steps forward.
What now? Dick Fairy’s on YouTube?
Photo: nytimes.com
Apparently, there’s some sort of legislation in the works to make The Lone Star State a sovereign nation. The support for this legislation is said to be the tenth amendment, or in other words, “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” Basically, in not so many words, Texans want the government to stay the hell outta their bluebonnet fields. Or something.
The governor started off his speech by saying that this piece of legislation was a “wake up call” for the government in Washington. Sure, if by “wake up call” you mean “PR stunt”. Sure, Dick.
Perry went on to pull a very George W. Bush-esque southern colloquialism right out of his ass. Something about “how to boil a frog” that ended with something about the heat having been turned up on Texas too many times. “Fool me once—Dag nabbit!”
That's right, Ted Nugent.
According to Perry, “Texans know best how to govern Texans”. Really??! This coming from the man who hangs out with the likes of Ted Nugent.
He added, “the constitution does not empower the federal government to overrule the state government without restraint.” Again, really??! This coming from the man who “overruled” the bailout that was previously headed to Texas for his unemployed constituents.
"I think I'll call our new country, Perryland!"
He even went on to quote Sam Houston, saying, “We didn’t like oppression then. We don’t like oppression now.” Hold on now. Didn’t we already have a civil war over this? Did I just travel back in time to the year 1861?
As I continue to watch this display unfold on YouTube, I feel like I’m being Punked. Maybe this is just one big publicity stunt. “Watch yer ass there, Mister President Obama, or Texas’ll secede! Yee-haw!!!”
Ugh. Watch it yourself if you want. Or don’t; it’s pretty boring.
The worst part of all this is that Perry probably figures this ridiculous stunt is going to help win him votes in 2010. But the absolute saddest part is that he just might be right about that. I can only hope that all those dumb hick Texans who think seceding is a good idea get lost on the way to the polls.
“Hey! I think I just done saw a Jack-o-lope, Bubba! Quick—turn this here truck around! Hand me my dang rifle!”
Tags: dick fairy, legislation, obama, rick perry, secede, texas, wake-up call, youtube
sigh…
Rick is right, but I wouldn’t expect a yank to understand that
Oh and just for the record: I’m a Texan and I think Rick is waaaaaaaay wrong. I also think he’s an idiot. And a child.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
You can always tell a liberal has been at it again when the argument conisist of nothing more than personal attacks and unfounded accusations. After listening to that speech, I say ‘more power to you, Rick’ And more power to all states in general. Thomas Jefferson said this “In my studies of the history of governments I could not find an example of a government that grew that remained ‘just’.”
People! Firstly, I’m a Texan, born and bred. Like Mrs. Baird’s. Secondly, the shenanigan-like behavior being performed by politicians is both interstate and intrastate. And I can’t believe I even have to say this, but seceding is NOT the answer. Lastly, and most importantly, I have never claimed to make an “argument”; my posts here on ITE are for entertainment purposes only. If you are not entertained by them, then I think you know what to do…
Gov. Goodhair (god, I miss you, Molly Ivins) is notorious for being an idiot. That being said, Ted Nugent and I will fight to the death for his right to be the aforementioned idiot. And by that, I mean I will be fighting Ted Nugent to the death.
I think Rick is a D-bag. Plus, he’s got a hair helmet.
politics-schmolitics…let’s legalize weed.
Eh, good thing we don’t have to worry. In the case of Texas v. White, the Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution did not permit states to secede from the United States, and that the ordinances of secession, and all the acts of the legislatures within seceding states intended to give effect to such ordinances, were “absolutely null”.
However, Texas CAN split into five states. Whoo hoo! I’m movin’ to New Texas!
Shit yeah, 5 states! New Texas, Texas, Old Texas, Tejas, and Houston. I’m moving my ass to Tejas because in Sanskrit it translates to fearlessness and valor.
TEJAS RULES!!
What an arrogant prick you are…!
I am waiting for Louisiana to succeed also!!! I would be proud to have this man as my governor or President!! Texans should be proud!!!!
YAY FOR SUCCESS!!
I like hair helmets. And you know what? I think a Texas needs to break out on our own. Yes. Our own. I am a muther-freakin’ TEXAN! YES! YES! I like, steak, belt buckles, nut huggers, steak, our flag, Mexicans, our flag cuz of the one star – I like that lose star shit – the Alamo is kinda cool, Big Tex and the COWBOYS!!!
We got so much cool shit that I think we can survive on our own. Let’s do it.
It’s funny that Perry just ran to the federal gov’t for money for the wild fires, mexico border (troops), and houston hurricane. Go ahead and follow puppets.
Texas needs to get ready for a population explosion if they do secede from the Union. Many will move there to get away from the jurisdiction of the idiots in Washington, D.C.
To the author of this article: I notice your name isn’t posted-maybe you are too embarassed to reval it. As a Texan, I find your remarks insulting. As a fellow American, you are just plain rude. There is nothing wrong with country folks, we are not idiots. But you certainly ARE showing your stupidity and lack of civility in your article. Your stance is very representative of the typical left-you are an elitist. You think you are “better” than us country folks. I feel sorry for you. You must be really miserable, to lash out at people this way.
Hey. Calvin. ITE isn’t a news site. It’s a comedy site. It’s a comedy site written by Texans, no less. The article is a joke. The mockery is directed at Perry and how Perry is making Texans look to the rest of the world. And I suppose on you for taking it seriously.
If “people like you” would lighten the fuck up and have a laugh every once in a while the whole country would be a little better off.
Well this Texans thinks Perry is an idiot who is saying what he thinks is necessary to save his losing bid at Governor. He’s going to get creamed because he’s almost as bad as Dubya, but not quite. What a moron. And not all Texans agree with this hogwash. We are AMERICANS first, Texans second.
Amen!
Well, damn. I misread the title and thought we wuz talkin’ ’bout Steve Perry. Who rocks. And kicks ass. And is the best goldurn singer this side o’Sinatra.
But I digress.
Also, looks like some people here need some book-learnin’ to figger out what the diff’rence ‘tween “secede” and “succeed” is.
Don’t Stop Secedin’!
Hold on to that feelin’!
What about Katy Perry!? She kisses girls and likes it. Again, I kid. Because this site is anything but serious. Please oh please don’t waste your precious angst on ITE. Oh and thanks for standing up for me, friends.
I’ve got a hat on.
[...] And gamble. And get jobs. And be policemen. And fly planes. And own guns. And be governor of Texas (too late). And own [...]
If you think we have a hard time keeping the Mexicans from sneaking in, imagine quadrupling that border and adding the Okies and Yankees to that list.
Ok WTF what’s with all the stereotypes at the end of this paragraph, we texans aren’t hicks and we aren’t all into the jackalope stuff, yeah we hunt, but that comment at the end was not needed at all. The only hicks you will find are in re hill country parts of Texas not all over, so don’t fuck with Texas.
What is this, oh so he hangs out with Ted Nugent. I like the ideas Perry has and on the contrary to your jejune views, Nugent would make an awesome president.
After breadwinner’s parting shot in the last paragraph of this psychotic babble, perhaps Texas should secede.
Psychotic babble:Ray :: Hilarity:Me
And here’s a haiku for you all -
Relax please kind friends
Sorry dear Texan Bubbas
Y’all glue, we rubbas
LEAVE MY DAD ALONE!
John:
Get out.
[...] That there statement might have just reversed my position on secession, [...]
The yanks think we’ll need our own army! LOL
We ALL own guns, DUH! Coincidentally, I was just discussing this very same issue with my family the other day. We have quite a bit of acreage and jokingly talked about seceding our land before Gov. Perry mentioned it. I’m with you Governor! And for those who think this is about racism is ignorant. Take a look at what’s been happening to this country in the last 20 year alone. It’s become an elitist self-indulgent society who no longer cares about their neighbors. Well Texans care about each other and are always ready to lend a helping hand. Can you say the same about yourselves?
cutting yourself off from the rest of the country is a good way to show you care about your neighbors, bro-bbie.
http://blog.indecisionforever.com/2009/04/20/ron-paul-explains-why-texas-seceding-from-america-isnt-at-all-un-american/
I still believe Carrie Prejean should have won the Miss USA 2009, and not Kirsten Dalton.
Carrie was looking stunning in her swimsuit. See for yourself!!
thats ok. all you libs from texas or not, will still be shakeing in the corner when the dust settles.the steriotype that you paint is not at all the main.i know take some more of my money and give it to people that refuse to help themselves.how abought that for comedy.
well, in all of this bickering back and forth, Texas is tried of the gov. b.s. we dont need the us gov., they need us !!!! we have resorce’s no one else has gas, water, food, nat. gas that the north needs, I took a pole from Texasan’s around my area, for about three month’s was hard getting the nerve to ask people, but got easy when they commented , seams the people down here are ready to fight for there state, unlike other state’s and are sick of the us gov.
make’s me wonder why no one goe’s out and ask the people what they think ????????? all I can say is God help us all, we are one big snow~ ball headed to hell!!!!!!!!!
The real problem is not the people of the u.s., its the people running it. guess we will ever know what happed to WE the people for the people. were all in this mess together,………
Uhhhhh, what’s a Texasan?
Have we done it yet???? I got a passport just in case. Never know when I’ll need to go out of the country, like say to Oklahoma. Hmmmmmm, should we put up a wall to keep the U.S. out. Let’s do it already, I am so ready to pay for the hurricane damage, tornado damage and everything else the cursed money from the cursed Federal Government pays for when Perry goes a beggin. Dang you United States for all your financial help when we need it. (Thumbs nose towards Washington)
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