5 great spots for a nakation getaway
Posted by rondostar on March 24th, 2009
Does your undesirable job have you in the pits? Better yet, does your lack of a job have you twiddling your thumbs a bit too much? Sounds like it’s time for a nakation. That’s right, shed those jeans and all the reminders of your pitiful professional status and take off for a while — naked.
What is a nakation you ask? Duh, it’s a vacation — sans the wardrobe. No longer must you stress over what two outfits per day you need to pack for the next seven days. No need to take your good stuff to the dry cleaners. All you need is sunscreen (lots of it) and a beach towel.
In this economy, most industries are taking a beating. But this brand of travel and recreation is actually seeing growth. In fact, the American Association for Nude Recreation claims that nude recreation represented a $440 million dollar industry in 2007 — up from $400 million in 2002 and $200 million in 1997 — and is still growing. Definitely go check them out for more information. And while you are there be sure to order your Nakation in a Box kit, complete with a super-sized nakation towel, sunscreen, window stickers and loads of discounts.
The economic recession is “doing us a lot of favors, maybe because there’s the idea that if you’ve lost the shirt off your back, you should go nude,” said Erich Schuttauf, executive director of the American Association for Nude Recreation.
Let’s get on with it. Without further ado, I present to thee, 5 great spots for a nakation getaway:
Cypress Cove: Kissimmee, Florida
Cypress Cove Nudist Resort & Spa is located in Orlando, Florida, home of Disney World and a ton of other vacation hot spots where you can’t be nude. Orlando is also known for its fantastic weather. Founded in 1964, this nudist resort is set on three hundred acres of unspoiled wilderness and includes a 50 acre fresh water lake, 130 acres of protected wetlands, 20 acres of recreation and even a residential community. That’s right, you can make this place your Naked Never Neverland FOREVER if you choose.
Amenities and Activities include:
- 2 restaurants and lakeside dining
- State of the art fitness center
- Full Service hair and nail salon and a shopping boutique
- Tennis courts, swimming, volleyball, canoes, pedal boats, petanque, horseshoes, shuffleboard and 9 hole chip & putt golf
- Bike and golf cart rentals
- Karaoke, dancing and other live entertainment
Turtle Lake Resort: Union City, Michigan
Located in chilly Union City, Michigan, Turtle Lake resort relies on a lot of well-heated indoor square footage to accommodate its guests. The resort features an 11,000-square-foot clubhouse where it’s BYOB and BYODM (bring your own dance moves). Since this nakation hot-spot is virtually all indoors, they are able to offer rooms in the winter for great prices — $42-$90 a night. Add the cash you will save on sunscreen and this makes for one hell of a deal!
Amenities and Activities include:
- Indoor hot tubs and swimming pools
- 9 hole golf course
- A lagoon, we all love lagoons
- Tennis courts, volleyball and mini-golf
- Open year round
- Music Festival: August 7th – 8th, 2009
Hidden Beach Resort: Cancun, Mexico
Hidden Beach Resort is an all-inclusive resort located an hour south of Cancun, Mexico. It offers 42 suites right on the beach and 18 of these have oceanfront swim-up. Now, that’s classy. They take that class a step further with champagne upon arrival and rose petals tossed on the bed at turndown. The swim-up suites have direct access to a Lazy River of sorts that connects to the main pool – all with lots of naked humans.
Amenities and Activities include:
- 24-hour room service
- Beachfront jacuzzi lounge
- Jacuzzi beach party
- Beach volleyball, giant chess & checkers games
- Scuba diving lessons in the pool (upon request)
- Internet access and LOTS more
Laguna del Sol: Wilton, California
1,600 members strong (that’s a lot of nakeds), Laguna Del Sol, located near Sacramento, California, is one of our country’s largest resorts of its kind. This resort differentiates itself from the others with its themed vacations like Nude Stock. You can also enjoy great nightlife by (swing?) dancing the night away in the spectacular 2-story lounge/nightclub or having a romantic dinner in the full-service restaurant overlooking the lake.
Amenities and Activities include:
- 4 pools and 3 spas
- Tennis and volleyball
- A fitness center
- Billiards and tennis in the game room (sticks and balls rule here, I’m sayin’)
- Themed vacations – Nudestock
Avalon: Paw Paw, West Virginia
Avalon resort has a certain uniqueness about it, as it’s know for taking ordinary activities and putting a nudist spin on them. For instance, this resort offers a library where you can read in the nude. There is also a naked fishing pond, naked wine tastings and nude hiking. Other than these things, this place seems a little plain. And a little ordinary. And a little boring. Mission accomplished, I guess.
Amenities and Activities include:
- Weight room
- Nude Dancing and Nude Fishing
- Indoor pool with open roof
- Water Volleyball and Petanque (not sure if it’s Water Petanque)
- Beautiful Dogwood trees, we all love these too
So forget about that shrunken retirement package, jump in the water and shrink that other package. Wait, what?
I’m having a nakation staycation right now. TMI? My bad.