Latest Pity Party: Coupon Parties
Posted by breadwinner on March 20th, 2009
First there were the New York City Pity Parties, pink slip parties where unemployed people came to network and get sloshed, only probably not in that order. Well there’s a new party on the cul-de-sac. Fuck Tupperware®, girl, I need me some coupons!
PINCH THEM PENNIES GIRLS!
Not to be redundant or anything, but these days, everyone is cutting back (or avoiding paying their taxes), trying to save a buck here and there. Enter coupon parties, where folks all over are gathering to exchange coupons, shopping strategies and money-saving tips inside a lovely home or church setting. I can almost smell the cream cheese pinwheels and pimento cheese loaves…
PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!
The Fox News affiliate in Boston reported about a woman named Karen who can feed her family of four for about $85 a week — in 45 minutes or less! And it’s fun! According to the segment, this “new trend” is not only fun, but also necessary. At coupon parties, folks exchange strategies and techniques, and they can even make money! It’s all very complex and cerebral. One woman gathered about $104 worth of stuff at the store, but in the end she made out like a bandit — spending around $60. Screw Albertson’s! Yeah!! So, instead of coming to this party expecting to write a check for some crap, you’ll walk out feeling like a million bucks! Well, maybe not, but there are accounts of savvy coupon clippers saving like $500 a month! Doesn’t seem like such small potatoes now, does it?
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS!
You know how some people get highs from things like working out, purposeful asphyxiation, doing drugs, etc.? Well, there are women who get a rabid high from squeezing every last discount out of their local grocery store. They suggest you don’t just take a coupon from the paper to the supermarket and buy it at 50 cents off. OH NO. That’s what they want you to do (conspiracy theory, much?). Instead, you sort (I’m picturing a frantic, systematic performance here), diligently cross-referencing store sales with coupons for items with coupons for brands…until you’ve double-, triple- and quadrupled your savings, making your depression-surviving grandmother who immigrated from Russia very, very proud. Bravo!
PAY HOW MUCH TO SAVE?!?
Along those same lines, there are sites and blogs all over the interwebs touting ways to save using coupons. One such site, becentsable.net, spells out its purpose in its mission statement: “Provide a one-stop savings resource to help families save time and money so they can focus on more important things. We encourage everyone to ‘spread the wealth’ by using their new money-saving skills to give back to their communities” So it’s not all about saving, it’s also about re-investing in the community. Sounds nice enough. right?
But what a bunch of scamsters! They charge a whopping $25 party entrance fee to “teach moms and dads alike how to use an online database to know when to use the coupons and see what other sales are out there that week.” Come to mention it, I think I’ve got a moneymaking deal brewing here. Pay me $25 and I’ll teach you how to Google, tweet, use a french press, whatever!
Personally I think people this desperate to save money shouldn’t be allowed to play with scissors, but that’s just me.
I would love to write and say what a great job you did on this, as you have put a lot of work into it.
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