WASTE OF MONEY: Truck Nuts
Posted by drocolate on March 11th, 2009In this economy, we all need to be a little more careful with our money. This is why I’m introducing a new feature here at ITE called, “Waste of money.” The idea is simple. If see or hear about something that I think is a colossal waste of money, I’ll write about it. That’s it. I said it was simple.
So with that said, let the fun begin with:
TRUCK NUTS
Truck Nuts AKA Truck Nutz AKA Bulls Balls AKA Big Boy Nutz AKA Truck Balls are realistic looking testicles that you hang from the back of your truck. Why you would ever want to hang a pair of balls from the back of your truck eludes me entirely. Do the people that purchase these truck scrotums just love balls that much? Are they former FFA ball judges (if that’s even a thing…I don’t really know anything about the FFA). Are they all matadors?
Originally these truck sacks came in only a few colors. Chrome (robot balls) and flesh (human balls…yikes) are two that I know I’ve seen in the past. However, now they have expanded into the full spectrum of colors with everything from fluorescent orange nuts to red nuts that light up in conjunction with your brake lights. They’ve got yellow balls, green balls, gold balls and, well, blue balls. Really, they’ve got pretty much any color you can think of.
And that’s not all. After doing a little more research I found out that now there are balls you can hang from your motorcycle AND ball keychains. Ball keychains? So people are just walking around all day with faux-balls in their pockets? WTF. Who are these people?
I’ve yet to see any sedan sacks or hatchback happy bags. I guess hanging balls from the back of your vehicle is something reserved exclusively for uber-macho vehicles like big trucks and kick ass choppers. Maybe the balls on my Honda Accord just haven’t dropped yet. Yeah, that must be it.
If you want to do more research (though I don’t recommend it) or if you just want to laugh at some softcore truck nut porn, check THIS out. Or THIS. Or THIS. Or THIS.
Just whatever you do, don’t buy any.
Truck Nuts are a waste of money. And that’s that.
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Tags: elmo, robots, truck nuts, waste of money
Are there some ballz in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I am from allthenutz.com, you are just another loser, mind your own business. people need to have fun and forget about the economy and people like you.
Dude. You’re so right. I mean, you work for an “Online Novelty Testicle Superstore.” Compared to you, drocolate is such. A. Loser.
Well said, Ken. And thanks a lot for checking out our site.
You know, you’re right. People do need to have fun and forget about the economy. And nothing screams fun like “novelty testicles”.
I’m just wondering though. Since you guys have the nuts covered, have you given any thought to expanding out into a line of car penises? You could have different shapes and sizes, much in the same way your truck nuts offer a different ballsack for whatever mood you’re in.
I’m not sure where the car penis would go on the actual car, but I’m not the expert. In my opinion, it would look best jutting out of the front in an almost battering ram sort of way. Oh, and there could be a car penis that lights up like a third headlight to counter the light-up-balls brake lights! That would be so awesome!
Ok, so if all goes well, sometime in the next few months (I understand that R&D on a product like this will take time), I hope to be sitting in my truck with some brilliantly shiny, chrome robot balls hanging from the back and an evenly proportioned chrome car penis protruding from the front. I could drive all around town like that.
Now THAT would be fun.
Thanks for reading, Ken. And in all seriousness, you have the best truck nuts website I’ve seen yet. I apologize for not linking to you in the post. Oh, and I hope you voted in the poll.
I can’t lie. I want some Monster Nuts from allnutz.com.
I agree with breawinner. Drocolate: Loser. I can’t wait for an America where every car has a pair of a nutsac hanging from their rear. I can just see it: me behind a sweet ass Crown Victoria, (hell, I’ll even take one them wussy-ass Japanese trucks) waiting to order my value meal from DQ, staring at a pair of bronze balls reflecting the hot afternoon sun and thinking: I should have gotten my nutsac in bronze — seems classier than gold with rhinestones. I just wish they make them with a little more texture.
Kenneth and David Ham are liars, they operate websites where they practice “bait and switch” tactics using bulls balls as the bait.
allthenutz.com is where they do it the most.
They operate out of their garage at 10953 Ramsgate Drive, Santee, CA. and
use dirty tricks trying to compete in this market.
The last thing seen on the interent regarding them was they are being investigated by CA. authorities for fraud and none shipping of orders.
They are also suspected of Identity Theft practices. Beware!
@simiansoul – and hair.
allthenutz.com owned by david ham and run by kenneth, his brother, should be put in jail for their arrogant ways when i tried to place an order.
Forget going there, losers,both of them…
‘drocolate’ is terribly misinformed. The original Truck Balls web site, bullsballs.com had many colors, and chrome was not one of them. It is obvious who posted these lies.
Kenneth Ham is an arrogant ass-hole and is taking every chance to shill for his brother David by defaming the ‘originals’ web site.
This is a fun product, and his only interest is to create trouble for his brothers competitors instead of helping him build a better product line. (way too many imitations from the oldest website on the net, bullsballs.com)
allthenuts is owned by David Ham and not Keneth Ham. Ken is violation the law in his actions, (coming soon to federal court) for all his defamation of character all over the internet. He is the one that needs to grow up.
I believe that ‘drocolate’ is Ken Ham. Why else would there be a big picture of his brothers product and links to others selling his brothers products, instead of the First Truck Balls Internet web site?
More bullcrap in his rampage of disinformation.
(Unhappy buyer and con-sumer have good reason for their comments. Add federal trademark violations to all of this too.)
(IMHO)
‘drocolate’ is shilling for David Ham. Not an objective posting. Full of misinformation. All the information is for Ken’s Brothers websites and products. And one who claims the lowest price is a joke. Not even the lowest.
I called in to allthenuts to buy some small blue balls for my quad, and all I got was pressure to buy something I didn’t want.
If you like rude, loud and childish people, call them and try and place an order.
I have since found better quality and pricing at bullsballs.com who also offer discounts if you buy more than one, so I got three. Their service and no-pressure attitude also helped me decide to avoid anyone that sells David Hams imitation crap.
Beware of buying on any site that sells what ‘drocolate’ is showing, and linking to.
allthenutz.com are flakes!
Wait, now I’m Ken Ham?
Wow.
I never knew there was so much drama in the truck scrotum world. Can’t all the truck sack salespeople get along?
Oh, and just for the record. I never linked to Ken Ham’s allthenutz.com. However, as to not seem biased, I’m going to add links to that site and “the original truck balls website”, bulls-balls.com to the post.
I hope it really boosts sales. For all of you.
I love slim, trim men who hang Bulls Balls on their trucks. (I dislike fat men)I am looking for a new man now that my children have grown up. Love Becky
[...] And that $165 milly is only part of a planned $450 million in bonuses to be handed out over the next several months. $450 million? That’s a lot of truck nuts. [...]
I can’t believe people are going this nuts over Truck Nutz.
And as for you people that got screwed out of a shiny new pair of nuts on the Internet, I guess this was the one time you weren’t expecting to get the shaft.
I got the shaft from the Ham brothers too, Ken and his brother Dave probably have been giving men (buyers) the shaft most of their miserable lives.
Kem Ham, the vicious boss and David Ham, the follower would be funny and puny if they were not so fat. Thumbs down to the Hamsters.
Sorry Bozzy, but it appears that Kenneth is the wannabee in all this. David owns all the businesses names, and Ken is trying to boost his little brothers business by shilling for him with lies and slander all over the internet, hoping to gaiun a competitive advantage for his brothers poorly run business.
Look around, you will find this true all over the place, it’s too obvious, if you look.
Damn, the Truck Nuts business is a dirty game.
Yeah Rondo. It was really quite a lot of fun ’till Ken started his crap. Now we all get sidetracked with the arguing about his slander on fun places like this.
[...] WASTE OF MONEY: Truck Nuts | In This Economy? [...]
I found your site on google, great site, keep it up. Will return in the future. Submitted this post to Google News Reader.
[...] car accessories like oversized spoilers and decorative mudflaps went up exponentially. Hell, truck nuts may have even seen a bump (but not a lump…because that’d be a sign of truck testicular [...]
Hey, I think these things are hilarious, I gat some great pictures over at my page if you want a laugh. Thanks
http://reporter666.wordpress.com
[...] What’re they commenting on? « gabbyisraddddd said: [...]
[...] million this weekend at the box office. I can only assume that the people who saw it arrived in truck nutted vehicles, smoking George W. Bush cigars and wearing [...]
[...] WASTE OF MONEY: Truck Nuts [...]
We are almost done with a 8 month investigation of the security breaches at one CALIFORNIA web site, business operates out a house in Santee, CA. There has been loss of personal data and total indifference to the leak by both the site owner and web master. SHOCKING revelations about site security seals and their standard.. This is an eye opener to anyone thinking that security seals protect you.
hehehe being called a liar by the convicted violent felon JOHN D Saller.. ha ha ha ha that saller guy has NO credibility
[...] can’t hang Truck Nuts from [...]
[...] Truck Nuts Spread the Word: [...]
i have truck nutz hanging from all 5 my vehicles and three pair on my truck! ya chicks dig it man~~!!!
[...] it millions of pairs of Truck Nuts that have been launched into space? I wish. No, actually it’s debris from satellites, space [...]
[...] keychains, coasters, shotglasses, lip discs, lighters, temporary tattoos, magnets, stamps and even truck nuts. Yeah. Truck [...]
You HAVE to see what is awaiting John Saller of Bulls Balls with his ongoing identity theft and fraud http://fraudreporters.wordpress.com
[...] Truck Nuts Spread the Word: [...]
Hey ‘Make my day’
You credibility is shit. Your link to your defaming web site has been CANCELLED!
So much for claiming others are bad when you are the ass-hole.
[...] Truck Nuts Spread the Word: [...]
[...] Truck Nuts Spread the Word: [...]
[...] Truck Nuts Spread the Word: [...]
[...] Truck Nuts Spread the Word: [...]
[...] about as un-futuristic a car as there is out there. And I’m sure it would look absurd with truck nuts attached to it (which for me is a total deal [...]
The Ham Brothers, Dilbert1 and Dilbert2 are a bunch of crooks selling cheap China junk.
ok, i can’t sell these China Imitaions anymore, i quit!
[...] Truck Nuts Spread the Word: [...]